Mjnoles1
06-16-2005, 07:21 PM
Where can I download a free tip calculator for my Samsung A680?
Thanks
Thanks
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View Full Version : tip calculator download
Fat Tony
06-17-2005, 12:24 AM
Why would any one need a tip program? Just read this and set.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. Bartenders deserve tips. You actually get something in
return. A longer pour, a stiffer drink and the occasional "on the house, pal". Your drink never
hits bottom, he/she is always there to fill it up. Bartenders really show gratitude by giving you
more then the schmuck who give a dollar tip. Same goes for waitress at a club. You get something
for your money.
Doorman at a club. Yes, he deserves a tip. Slip him a minimum of $20 everytime you come in and
regardless of VIP list, badabing you are in without a wait. Seen a hottie in line? "Yo, she's with
me" and bam! She's in too. Ice breaker, she's impressed because you got her in without a wait.
Casino. Always tip pitboss. ALWAYS, no acceptions. He's got the pull to get you perks beyond your
imagination. There's lots of times I walk into a crowded casino in L.A. and I get seated the
second I walk on the floor. Sure there's a 1 hour wait for a 3-6 hold'em table, but not for me.
Meals? I never paid for a meal in a casino in 15 years. Why? I tip the pitboss. I get something
for my money and I'm loose with it when there's something in it for me. From comp cigars to comp
meals and drinks, anything I want in the Commerce/Bicycle casino is mine. I've even switched
dealers becauss "I don't like her ****ing face, get her off my table". What did they say? "Right
away Tone, this is her last hand".
Service counter at car dealer. Always tip this guy! OMG if you are going to tip anybody, it's the
guy at the service department. Drive up, tell him whats the matter tell him very plainly and very
directly "do the best you can and I'll take care of you when I pick up my car". They all know what
this means and you will get royal treatment. The loaner car is out, but take this one. Free detail.
Free shampoo. Problem wasn't under warranty, but he pulls a few strings to get it taken care of
free of charge. Instead of rebuilding the AC unit as stated in the contract, I made them install a
brand new one for you. You get all kinds of **** from the service department. Tip him well. I say
the minimum is $50 and cap is a hundred. I've gotten a LOT of stuff for my money at service depts.
Gardener. If the guy is self employed, **** him. If it's a company and they got a employees doing
the work, then you always tip the gardener. When you "Take care" of them, they take care of you in
return. Fertilizer at no extra charge. Minor tree trimming at no extra charge. Extra care when
cleaning up. All because of a five or ten here and there. Remember, these guys don't even make
the minimum wage, they are illegals and work like slaves for $30 a day. Your extra 5 or 10 means
meat in them thar burritos!
The DJ. Wedding? Party? Graduation? Etc? Find the DJ you want, then slip him a few bucks extra to
put him in a good mood and he'll stay longer then he's supposed to and get the party going.
Dry cleaners. Always tip the guy at the dry cleaner. Yeah, right. **** him, don't give him one dollar.
Contractors. Doing some remodeling? Just painting the house? Laying down carpet? You need these
guys on your side like they are marines and you are behind enimy lines. Slip each of them a
minimum of $20 (20 is low, if you can do 50) and watch how much better the days work goes. You'll
get some minor free work done, some extras, and they'll care just a lil bit more about their work.
Gopher. Most offices have one. Go for coffee, go for lunch, get me this, get me that. **** job.
Take care of Gopher and he'll take care of you. Give gopher an attitude, he'll forget whatcha want.
The water guy. Up he climbs to bring you mountain fresh water. Yah, right. **** him. He knew what
he was getting into when he put on that shirt. He can't do nothing for you, so he is off the
bribe/tip list.
Cable guy. Only if he is willing to do some crap for you. Otherwise **** him.
Real estate agent. They make enough money off of you, they can kiss my hairy beanbag.
Movers. They are getting paid by the hour. They are charging you an obscene amount of money to
move your belongings from point A to point B. You offer to take care of them if they can help you
out with the time card. If they say sure, then guess what? You need to tip their ass royally. For
every hour he takes off of the card, that's an extra $35-$50 off of your bill. Tip 50% of what he
saves you. Saved you $150 off your bill? He deserves $75 minimum.
Finance manager (when buying a new car). You really want this new car, but the interest rate over
the life of the loan is kicking your ass. Man, just a few shaved poinits off of my interest rate
and I can easilly afford this. Guess what? Finance managers get tipped from the bank when they
reel in a big fish. Once the salesman tells you "This is as low as we can go, there is nothing else
we can do for you" then ask for the finance manager. Offer him a minimum of $250 to see if he can
drop your interest rate down, let him know it's in cash and if he gets a dynamite deal you'll go
as high as $500. The finance manager then takes a 5 minute break and comes back with the actual
interest rate they offered you.
Hospital? Oh yes. Let's say your wife is having a baby or your grandmother is having surgery. Be
nice to the nurses, bring a box of cancy, ask them if you can order them a pizza, etc. and watch
how they don't come in your room to tell you "visiting hours are now over". Works everytime.
Your local hooker. She wants $30? Offer her $40 and hold on. Do I need to explain this one?
Tip like it's a bribe. They'll accept it like it's a bribe and give you something in return. Tip
because the person thinks he/she deserves it and you get nothing. Most waiters have this problem.
You order a pizza. It gets there late, it's not as warm as you'd like it to be and the delivery
guy actually asks "Do you need change?" Like I'm going to feel embarrased and let him keep it. "Yes
I want my ****ing change!". You should see the look on their face. I never tip the pizza guy. ****
him. He's got a new car, he don't need my money. If he's strapped for cash, then he should have got
a cheaper car or not purchased the rear wing for the front wheel drive car. Delivery boys are
*******s. Go to www.tipthepizzaguy.com this site is a ****ing laugh.
Bagelstein's Bagel bakery has a drive up window. They have a tip jar, un****ingbelieveable. When
the girl gives you your change, she motions toward the tip jar and gives a facial expression kinda
like "awwwww can I habit". I stare her in the eye and stick my hand out, and give her a "Thanks :)"
You are a drive up chick. Not even a real server. How dare you ask for my money. Never tip the
drive up girl.
Starbucks. Can you believe they have tip jars? What freaks me out is, they are usually 1/2 way full
with bills. You pour coffee. **** you. You deserve no tip. Free scone? Sure, here's a tip.
Your ****ing waiter that takes your order then brings your food does NOT deserve 20%. He/she deserve
10% or less.
__________________________________________________ _______________________________________________
I've said it before and I'll say it again. Bartenders deserve tips. You actually get something in
return. A longer pour, a stiffer drink and the occasional "on the house, pal". Your drink never
hits bottom, he/she is always there to fill it up. Bartenders really show gratitude by giving you
more then the schmuck who give a dollar tip. Same goes for waitress at a club. You get something
for your money.
Doorman at a club. Yes, he deserves a tip. Slip him a minimum of $20 everytime you come in and
regardless of VIP list, badabing you are in without a wait. Seen a hottie in line? "Yo, she's with
me" and bam! She's in too. Ice breaker, she's impressed because you got her in without a wait.
Casino. Always tip pitboss. ALWAYS, no acceptions. He's got the pull to get you perks beyond your
imagination. There's lots of times I walk into a crowded casino in L.A. and I get seated the
second I walk on the floor. Sure there's a 1 hour wait for a 3-6 hold'em table, but not for me.
Meals? I never paid for a meal in a casino in 15 years. Why? I tip the pitboss. I get something
for my money and I'm loose with it when there's something in it for me. From comp cigars to comp
meals and drinks, anything I want in the Commerce/Bicycle casino is mine. I've even switched
dealers becauss "I don't like her ****ing face, get her off my table". What did they say? "Right
away Tone, this is her last hand".
Service counter at car dealer. Always tip this guy! OMG if you are going to tip anybody, it's the
guy at the service department. Drive up, tell him whats the matter tell him very plainly and very
directly "do the best you can and I'll take care of you when I pick up my car". They all know what
this means and you will get royal treatment. The loaner car is out, but take this one. Free detail.
Free shampoo. Problem wasn't under warranty, but he pulls a few strings to get it taken care of
free of charge. Instead of rebuilding the AC unit as stated in the contract, I made them install a
brand new one for you. You get all kinds of **** from the service department. Tip him well. I say
the minimum is $50 and cap is a hundred. I've gotten a LOT of stuff for my money at service depts.
Gardener. If the guy is self employed, **** him. If it's a company and they got a employees doing
the work, then you always tip the gardener. When you "Take care" of them, they take care of you in
return. Fertilizer at no extra charge. Minor tree trimming at no extra charge. Extra care when
cleaning up. All because of a five or ten here and there. Remember, these guys don't even make
the minimum wage, they are illegals and work like slaves for $30 a day. Your extra 5 or 10 means
meat in them thar burritos!
The DJ. Wedding? Party? Graduation? Etc? Find the DJ you want, then slip him a few bucks extra to
put him in a good mood and he'll stay longer then he's supposed to and get the party going.
Dry cleaners. Always tip the guy at the dry cleaner. Yeah, right. **** him, don't give him one dollar.
Contractors. Doing some remodeling? Just painting the house? Laying down carpet? You need these
guys on your side like they are marines and you are behind enimy lines. Slip each of them a
minimum of $20 (20 is low, if you can do 50) and watch how much better the days work goes. You'll
get some minor free work done, some extras, and they'll care just a lil bit more about their work.
Gopher. Most offices have one. Go for coffee, go for lunch, get me this, get me that. **** job.
Take care of Gopher and he'll take care of you. Give gopher an attitude, he'll forget whatcha want.
The water guy. Up he climbs to bring you mountain fresh water. Yah, right. **** him. He knew what
he was getting into when he put on that shirt. He can't do nothing for you, so he is off the
bribe/tip list.
Cable guy. Only if he is willing to do some crap for you. Otherwise **** him.
Real estate agent. They make enough money off of you, they can kiss my hairy beanbag.
Movers. They are getting paid by the hour. They are charging you an obscene amount of money to
move your belongings from point A to point B. You offer to take care of them if they can help you
out with the time card. If they say sure, then guess what? You need to tip their ass royally. For
every hour he takes off of the card, that's an extra $35-$50 off of your bill. Tip 50% of what he
saves you. Saved you $150 off your bill? He deserves $75 minimum.
Finance manager (when buying a new car). You really want this new car, but the interest rate over
the life of the loan is kicking your ass. Man, just a few shaved poinits off of my interest rate
and I can easilly afford this. Guess what? Finance managers get tipped from the bank when they
reel in a big fish. Once the salesman tells you "This is as low as we can go, there is nothing else
we can do for you" then ask for the finance manager. Offer him a minimum of $250 to see if he can
drop your interest rate down, let him know it's in cash and if he gets a dynamite deal you'll go
as high as $500. The finance manager then takes a 5 minute break and comes back with the actual
interest rate they offered you.
Hospital? Oh yes. Let's say your wife is having a baby or your grandmother is having surgery. Be
nice to the nurses, bring a box of cancy, ask them if you can order them a pizza, etc. and watch
how they don't come in your room to tell you "visiting hours are now over". Works everytime.
Your local hooker. She wants $30? Offer her $40 and hold on. Do I need to explain this one?
Tip like it's a bribe. They'll accept it like it's a bribe and give you something in return. Tip
because the person thinks he/she deserves it and you get nothing. Most waiters have this problem.
You order a pizza. It gets there late, it's not as warm as you'd like it to be and the delivery
guy actually asks "Do you need change?" Like I'm going to feel embarrased and let him keep it. "Yes
I want my ****ing change!". You should see the look on their face. I never tip the pizza guy. ****
him. He's got a new car, he don't need my money. If he's strapped for cash, then he should have got
a cheaper car or not purchased the rear wing for the front wheel drive car. Delivery boys are
*******s. Go to www.tipthepizzaguy.com this site is a ****ing laugh.
Bagelstein's Bagel bakery has a drive up window. They have a tip jar, un****ingbelieveable. When
the girl gives you your change, she motions toward the tip jar and gives a facial expression kinda
like "awwwww can I habit". I stare her in the eye and stick my hand out, and give her a "Thanks :)"
You are a drive up chick. Not even a real server. How dare you ask for my money. Never tip the
drive up girl.
Starbucks. Can you believe they have tip jars? What freaks me out is, they are usually 1/2 way full
with bills. You pour coffee. **** you. You deserve no tip. Free scone? Sure, here's a tip.
Your ****ing waiter that takes your order then brings your food does NOT deserve 20%. He/she deserve
10% or less.
__________________________________________________ _______________________________________________
Bohemian Iconoclast
06-17-2005, 09:46 AM
...most phones nowadays have a regular calculator...just punch it up without waiting for a program load...
js5752
06-18-2005, 10:46 PM
Fat Tony, that was hilarious!!!!
thanks, I LMAO!!!
but yeah, just use the regular calculator.
BTW, FT, I think you're overtipping a bit in a few places,
but if it works for ya, go for it
great post.....
-Jeff
thanks, I LMAO!!!
but yeah, just use the regular calculator.
BTW, FT, I think you're overtipping a bit in a few places,
but if it works for ya, go for it
great post.....
-Jeff
Bohemian Iconoclast
07-07-2005, 12:35 AM
...found it on the SU WAP page...thanks go to Thaddeus and Dave.
http://www.sprintusers.com/forum/showthread.php?p=653044#post653044
http://www.sprintusers.com/forum/showthread.php?p=653044#post653044
jmthomas
07-07-2005, 11:29 AM
Starbucks. Can you believe they have tip jars? What freaks me out is, they are usually 1/2 way full
with bills. You pour coffee. **** you. You deserve no tip. Free scone? Sure, here's a tip.
Amen! :clap: :clap:
with bills. You pour coffee. **** you. You deserve no tip. Free scone? Sure, here's a tip.
Amen! :clap: :clap:
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