jury duty

[michelle]

got the dreaded summons for jury duty and i'm going in today. how does one not get picked to be jury? i have an all-day seminar tomorrow and it's paid for so i really can't return to court. help help! :confused:

[usfhett03]

The trick is that you have to tell the judge that you are racist towards anybody that is not of your ethnic background.

[mcurtiss1970]

the judge may not be in there with you...say you like to sleep with people in uniform

[Marlon_JB2]

Or claim that you have psychiatric problems. I guarantee you'll never be in a jury again! :)

[Stevecccc]

Looks like Oprah has the same problem :

Oprah Winfrey Scheduled for Jury Duty

http://apnews.excite.com/article/20040813/D84EHC1O0.html

[mcurtiss1970]

my old boss used to get out by saying stuff like

"that guy is guilty right?"

"no, maam. he's on trial. "

"but if he's in the defendant's chair, that *must* mean he's guilty"

"no maam, we're all innocent until proven guilty"

"riiiiight...he looks guilty to me""

[usfhett03]

my old boss used to get out by saying stuff like

"that guy is guilty right?"

"no, maam. he's on trial. "

"but if he's in the defendant's chair, that *must* mean he's guilty"

"no maam, we're all innocent until proven guilty"

"riiiiight...he looks guilty to me""

good stuff

[Ronkh]

And if it's a civil trial.........

"The insurance companies been ripping me off for years......."

"Insurance companies got LOTS of money, so I got no problem giving LARGE awards"

[mcurtiss1970]

or

"I have chronic explosive diarrhea and can't sit for more than 30 minutes at a time"

[Ronkh]

"I have chronic explosive diarrhea and can't sit for more than 30 minutes at a time"


may i suggest a cork?
or are you afraid of shooting someone?!?!?!?!?

sometimes i just crack myself up :joy:

[SLDNchick]

My dad has been called waaaay too many times -
He always tells them he's been:
raped
shot at
defrauded
burglarized
and racially profiled.

It sounds a bit ridiculous, but we figure part of the reason it works is that it's really obvious he doesn't want to be there, so he wouldn't make the best member of a jury anyway. Worth a shot... :huh:

[michelle]

thank god for wifi guys. whew. am in the assembly room right now. the lady's going over orientation blah blah blah... anyway, i read all your replies and just http://images6.fotki.com/v98/photos/3/32745/1175856/rofl-vi.gif

[michelle]

may i suggest a cork?
or are you afraid of shooting someone?!?!?!?!?

sometimes i just crack myself up :joy:

thanks for the jollies ronkh and curti.

[usfhett03]

When you see the person on the defendent's chair, be like

"whats up girl/dawg, hows the family doing?"

[jizzon]

LOL, this thread is hilarious!

"I can tell if someone is guilty just by looking at him.."

[michelle]

LOL, this thread is hilarious!

"I can tell if someone is guilty just by looking at him.."

^ ooohoohoo. good one.

[Stevecccc]

Here are a few you can try:

1. Tell them that you're a moderator at SU and that your duties there are much more important than some silly trial.

2. Inform them that you've never been without a phone for more than 7 minutes and that if you're forced to not be able to text message/surf for any more than that, you can't be held responsible for your actions.

[Ronkh]

or mebbe that a whole bunch of new phones are being released, and you just gotta get each as it comes out.........

[mcurtiss1970]

or mebbe that a whole bunch of new phones are being released, and you just gotta get each as it comes out.........

don't be rediculous...no one is like that

[Ronkh]

don't be rediculous...no one is like that
ok, how about

"the fall line up of shoes is due to hit stores............" :hee:

[michelle]

ok, how about

"the fall line up of shoes is due to hit stores............" :hee:

good one. and i'm gonna go check em out cause guess what. we're dismissed. playtiiiiiiiiime!!!! woowoo! :woohoo: there is a god.

[Stevecccc]

or mebbe that a whole bunch of new phones are being released, and you just gotta get each as it comes out.........

That was the 'old' Michelle. :)

[icsedge1]

That was the 'old' Michelle. :)

that's right! the new michelle has used the same *unnamed* phone for a whole what, 2 months now! :eek:

sedge

[Stevecccc]

that's right! the new michelle has used the same *unnamed* phone for a whole what, 2 months now! :eek:

sedge

Yes, I did hear that Sprint's revenues have dropped sharply recently. :hee:

[michelle]

you guys are funny :D

[icsedge1]

*high 5s steve*

and we're serious...now that is funny! lol

sedge

[Draggar]

While I fully understand that it is an inconvenience with jury duty, why do people treat it as a punishment?

It allows us to not only be a part of the judicial & executive parts of our government, we also get to see the inside of a court room and all the workings in an unbiased way. What a small price to pay for all the freedoms we enjoy in this country!

I served on jury duty last year, and even though I was apprehensive about the whole ordeal, I was glad to see that *I* had a part of enforcing the law.

[icsedge1]

amen...i was a foreman at the age of 23 because i took it seriously. to those who don't care for history...trust me, you don't want to go back to the before 'jury of your peers' period.

sedge

[R2X]

I have to go in for jury duty in sept :(....

I am on my 90 day's at my job still so they don't pay for jury day off :(

[Draggar]

I have to go in for jury duty in sept :(....

I am on my 90 day's at my job still so they don't pay for jury day off :(

I would double check that, I think they have to pay you, regardless of how long you've been with the company.

[ken_vs_ryu]

racism. bias. all the good stuff.

[dfwtxpatrick]

I've been called for Jury Duty 3 times in the last 10 yrs. I always tell it like it is.

When asked if I believe in the Death Penalty, I always reply "Yes, and I'd like to be the one administering it!" That usually gets it over with in a very short amount of time.

One of the cases I was actually on the final selection panel for, but never made it to the courtroom was a Drunk Driving Manslaughter case. When asked if I have an opinion about drunk driving and accidents. I actually replied "There is no accident when drunk driving is involved. The idiot who was driving knew what he/she was doing when they picked up the first drink. Besides, I lost my mother when I was 13 to a drunk driver!"

Needless to say, I was promptly dismissed by the defense, and so where 3 others when they all said "Yeah, what that guy said!" They used my response to get out of Jury duty, but I meant what I said and I actually did lose my mother to a drunk driver.

Any way! Michelle, I hope you get out of it. Keep us posted!

[Cheatachu72]

While I fully understand that it is an inconvenience with jury duty, why do people treat it as a punishment?

It allows us to not only be a part of the judicial & executive parts of our government, we also get to see the inside of a court room and all the workings in an unbiased way. What a small price to pay for all the freedoms we enjoy in this country!

I served on jury duty last year, and even though I was apprehensive about the whole ordeal, I was glad to see that *I* had a part of enforcing the law.

I remember reading from a credible news source (cnn, msnbc, etc) that that the majority of americans look forward to jury duty :eek:

i will try to do a little digging to get a link. like you said, jury duty is a way the public enforces/voices their opinions towards the laws. i am honored to serve it

[pdx77]

I have to go in for jury duty in sept :(....

I am on my 90 day's at my job still so they don't pay for jury day off :(
I was chosen for jury duty about 5 years ago. My employer refused to let me have the time off, and told me that I would of been fired if I missed any days at work for jury duty.

Thank god that they didn't call me ## (I was a backup jury). I didn't feel like getting fired. It's BS that if you are called for jury duty you have to go and it's illegal if you don't respond, but you can also get fired from your job for doing that.

[nohbdyshero]

I was chosen for jury duty about 5 years ago. My employer refused to let me have the time off, and told me that I would of been fired if I missed any days at work for jury duty.

Thank god that they didn't call me ## (I was a backup jury). I didn't feel like getting fired. It's BS that if you are called for jury duty you have to go and it's illegal if you don't respond, but you can also get fired from your job for doing that.

I don't think they can fire you for having Jury Duty...i believe its illegel

[pdx77]

I don't think they can fire you for having Jury Duty...i believe its illegel
I had such a ****ty job, that I didn't feel like fighting it.

[suprdav2]

I would double check that, I think they have to pay you, regardless of how long you've been with the company.

WRONG! It is entirely up to the employer whether or not they pay you for jury duty. It may vary from state to state, though, but here in Texas, they are not required to pay by law.

-- Dave

[pdx77]

WRONG! It is entirely up to the employer whether or not they pay you for jury duty. It may vary from state to state, though, but here in Texas, they are not required to pay by law.

-- Dave
Yep, in Iowa they don't have to pay you.. But it's BS that they can fire you for doing jury duty

[nohbdyshero]

i never said they had to pay you but at least in MI i beleive it is illegel for them to terminate you for jury duty

[Ronkh]

They cannot fire you. That would be a violation of a court order or contempt of court

[imtravis]

I got lucky and didn't have to pull jury duty. They let me out for medical reasons. Besides, It was a 22 week trial, that would start in September, and Deliberate next April. I'm soo glad I don't have to do it. ;-) Found out the trial I had was a federal (yuppers, had to go to SF for the jury summons). When I saw who the defendents were, I decided I liked living, and like spending time with my family, so I wanted out.

[AfineAKA]

I know this sounds messed up but the last time I was summoned I didn't show up the and no one came looking for me. The other time I was dissappointed I was not selected. **sigh**

[AnthroMatt]

While I fully understand that it is an inconvenience with jury duty, why do people treat it as a punishment?
I agree. If I were ever on trial for anything (and I hope not to be!) I wouldn't want everyone trying to get out of the jury leaving me with only the people stupid enough not to get out! So the way I see it, when I get my summons I will serve if called upon without trying to get out of it because I would want other people to do the same for me.

On the other hand, my mother was on a murder jury last year...she said it was not much fun. :eek:

[AfineAKA]

I agree. If I were ever on trial for anything (and I hope not to be!) I wouldn't want everyone trying to get out of the jury leaving me with only the people stupid enough not to get out! So the way I see it, when I get my summons I will serve if called upon without trying to get out of it because I would want other people to do the same for me.

On the other hand, my mother was on a murder jury last year...she said it was not much fun. :eek: I think there are lots of people who don't mind or even want to do jury duty and I would not call them stupid. But you will always have folks who do not welcome an inconvenience to their lives and schedules. Kinda like parenthood to some, to find it's not so bad afterall. :)

[AnthroMatt]

I think there are lots of people who don't mind or even want to do jury duty and I would not call them stupid. But you will always have folks who do not welcome an inconvenience to their lives and schedules. Kinda like parenthood to some, to find it's not so bad afterall. :)
Actually, there have been studies conducted of juries and they tend to be comprised of "less intelligent than average" citizens. Sure there are smart people on juries, but overall juries are not representative of society (in this respect and many others).

[nohbdyshero]

Actually, there have been studies conducted of juries and they tend to be comprised of "less intelligent than average" citizens. Sure there are smart people on juries, but overall juries are not representative of society (in this respect and many others).


the defense usually doesn't want Mr(s) smartypants on the jury b/c they will use logic and convict in most cases...the less intelligent are more apt to defenses arguments

[ken_vs_ryu]

no wonder oprah has jury duty.

[AnthroMatt]

the defense usually doesn't want Mr(s) smartypants on the jury b/c they will use logic and convict in most cases...the less intelligent are more apt to defenses arguments
Exactly. Juries, as a whole, are stupid.

[AfineAKA]

Exactly. Juries, as a whole, are stupid.I think you've been drinking too much of that Alcohol. Blanket statements and sterotypes are stupid.

[AnthroMatt]

I think you've been drinking too much of that Alcohol. Blanket statements and sterotypes are stupid.
Perhaps you need to learn to read a bit more closely?

Or did you simply choose to ignore my statement along the lines of "sure smart people get on juries"?

In fact the qualifier "as a whole" that I used would seem to indicate that I am saying something along the lines of "most" would it not? How is that any different than saying "Sprint, as a whole, is a fabulous wireless provider." Or is such a blanket statement stupid?

Finally, blanket statements and/or stereotypes are not inherently stupid. There are positive stereotypes and negative stereotypes. They only become stupid when someone tries to ascribe the charactersitics of a certain stereotype to a single person/body of people. Thus, my remark that "most juries are stupid" is just fine. It is rooted in fact. If I then decided to state that "The jury in the Scott Peterson trial is stupid" I would be wrong to do so without any additional information. See the difference?

[AfineAKA]

Perhaps you need to learn to read a bit more closely?

Or did you simply choose to ignore my statement along the lines of "sure smart people get on juries"?

In fact the qualifier "as a whole" that I used would seem to indicate that I am saying something along the lines of "most" would it not? How is that any different than saying "Sprint, as a whole, is a fabulous wireless provider." Or is such a blanket statement stupid?

Finally, blanket statements and/or stereotypes are not inherently stupid. There are positive stereotypes and negative stereotypes. They only become stupid when someone tries to ascribe the charactersitics of a certain stereotype to a single person/body of people. Thus, my remark that "most juries are stupid" is just fine. It is rooted in fact. If I then decided to state that "The jury in the Scott Peterson trial is stupid" I would be wrong to do so without any additional information. See the difference?Right! :D

[geekmom]

I would double check that, I think they have to pay you, regardless of how long you've been with the company.

That's what I thought. I'm not sure it's legal for an employer not to pay someone who has jury duty.

[Nugo]

Perhaps you need to learn to read a bit more closely?

Or did you simply choose to ignore my statement along the lines of "sure smart people get on juries"?

In fact the qualifier "as a whole" that I used would seem to indicate that I am saying something along the lines of "most" would it not? How is that any different than saying "Sprint, as a whole, is a fabulous wireless provider." Or is such a blanket statement stupid?

Finally, blanket statements and/or stereotypes are not inherently stupid. There are positive stereotypes and negative stereotypes. They only become stupid when someone tries to ascribe the charactersitics of a certain stereotype to a single person/body of people. Thus, my remark that "most juries are stupid" is just fine. It is rooted in fact. If I then decided to state that "The jury in the Scott Peterson trial is stupid" I would be wrong to do so without any additional information. See the difference?

Here ya go, Michelle. Tell this to the judge. He'll pay for your cab home.

[mcurtiss1970]

yeah, i'm sure michelle is still on this case :eyeroll:

[Ted]

yeah, i'm sure michelle is still on this case :eyeroll:

case of beer, maybe... didn't she have jury duty over the summer?

[michelle]

yep summer. i can hardly remember summer anymore. now there's just about a month and a half left of the year :huh:
nora, quit diggin up the old threads :p

[mcurtiss1970]

who's nora?

[michelle]

geekmom :)

[A six double 0]

Damn now I have to do jury duty for a federal case :mad:

[Ted]

Damn now I have to do jury duty for a federal case :mad:

hang 'em high!

[acunn1]

I also just got called for a federal jury, I will go gladly...it helps that I receive a full days pay if I miss work. I have the option of saying that as a vol. firefighter, I can be excused from state jury duty. Used that once when my employer wouldn't pay me. This state doesn't require you to be paid, but you can NOT be fired for going. It is a court summons and that requires that you attend

[imtravis]

I also just got called for a federal jury, I will go gladly...it helps that I receive a full days pay if I miss work. I have the option of saying that as a vol. firefighter, I can be excused from state jury duty. Used that once when my employer wouldn't pay me. This state doesn't require you to be paid, but you can NOT be fired for going. It is a court summons and that requires that you attend

But if you get selected it could be more than a day. I know when I got called in for Jury on a Federal case, they warned me that the case could take 22 weeeks to go through, then there was deliberation (sp?). Unfortunately work only pays me for 30 days, the rest of the time I wouldn't get squat (first month you only get 30 dollars a day, after that it's a whopping $50/day). I don't know about you, but I can't afford to miss work for that long (that's over five months!!). Luckily I didn't have to be in that case (got out of it), but from what i understand the case is in full swing.