What are your thoughts on the LGBT community??

[Joy]

LGBT (lesbian,gay,bisexual,transgender)......

I'm kinda interested in your thoughts/feelings about gay people...

[some18mybrain]

I have a few gay and bisexual friends, and I don't think of them any differently than I do any other of my friends. People are people to me. Doesn't matter color, sexual preference, religion, culture, whatever. We all bleed red :)

[IncredibleLee]

They are no different than anyone else. I think this should not be discussed on the board though because you are bound to get some inflammatory replies that could be hurtful to the GLTB community here at SU.

[Joy]

They are no different than anyone else. I think this should not be discussed on the board though because you are bound to get some inflammatory replies that could be hurtful to the GLTB community here at SU.


I think it should be discussed...im actually a member of the community and am obviously ready to hear peoples thoughts/opinions whether negative or positive. Unless you're a member of the community yourself and feel somewhat offended then say so...but dont speak for others whom you feel MAY be offended.

[IncredibleLee]

lol...carry on then ;)

[clh]

we are all human beings no better and no worse than another when it comes to age,sexual orientation,race,religion,etc.
The only issue I really have is that many gays have given their lives for this country and are currently putting their lives on the line for the rest of us and I really think that the military "don't ask,don't tell"policy really sucks.
in some little way,we are all brothers and sisters!!
This applies to "all" LBGT's and straights.

[CaseyGirl]

My sister is gay and she's been open about it for close to ... 20 years now or more. So my thoughts on this topic is pretty much that everyone has a right to choose for themselves. They are people just like you and me.

There have been family members and friends that have judged her, but for the most part, they've accepted the fact that she's part of the "family" so to speak. She doesn't define herself as a lesbian as some do, it's her sexual preference, it doesn't define who she is.

[thesonofgray]

Gay all the way, baby! :p

Been with my partner for over 5 years now and couldn't be happier. I suppose you could say I've had a fairly "sheltered" gay life, since I really haven't had any issues thus far. My parents are perfectly ok with it (they actually told me I was gay - funny story bout that one :hee:) and all of my friends are liberal or simply open minded.

Living in Texas, I'm exposed to a lot of intolerance and bigotry, but not really directly - more so just on the news and stuff. I also frequent blogs which cover a lot of gay-related hate crimes and it just makes me more and more thankful for what I have - and more and more disheartened by the human race.

I've also learned that in 99% of cases, when someone doesn't like or approve of gays, they haven't had a chance to get to know one. I met quite a few of people who had the "it's a choice and morally wrong" view and, maybe I'm just a persuasive person, but once they got to know me their opinions changed 180 degrees. A lot of people don't realize that gays just don't populate the Bravo and HGTV networks, but they're also your local engineers, accountants, dentists, lawyers, etc. They just don't realize it because we truly are just like everybody else. :)

I do see a bad ending to this thread, though. Other threads have been closed for much less controversial issues, so I doubt this will end any other way, unfortunately. :(

[CaseyGirl]

Been with my partner for over 5 years now and couldn't be happier. I suppose you could say I've had a fairly "sheltered" gay life, since I really haven't had any issues thus far. My parents are perfectly ok with it (they actually told me I was gay - funny story bout that one :hee:) and all of my friends are liberal or simply open minded.



The funny part ... I did the same thing for my sister. I told her she was gay and she got so mad at me. :hee: Then she didn't speak to me for a week and then a week later, she admits to me that I was right.

Funny!

[Quill]

I hope the thread doesn't get out of hand. I know there are SU members who may have strong negative feelings about gay folk, but, we also have quite a few openly gay members here. So, I'll subscribe and keep an eye on it. :)

I love good people. I want good people in my life. If you're a good person, I don't care who you love, just don't be a prick. :D

My belief, based on personal experience with gay friends and professional experience writing a series of stories on a domestic partnership bill that failed in the Nevada Legislature 6 years ago, is that people are born gay.

That's what I think. *puts flame suit on*

[Marlon_JB2]

I'm not gay.

But I'm not gonna sit here and deny that gay folks exist.

Nor do I have any odd or weird feelings towards them.

They're people. :)

With that said... my college suitemate is gay. Very very gay. I think he may also be a drag queen because there's makeup in the bathroom. There's a heck of a lot of LGBT people on my campus... including this dude that I was in an orientation group with. At the time he had a girlfriend... no longer.

[ame]

Personally?

I think it is total bullsh!! that GLBT individuals don't get treated equally or fairly. These people have the same rights as those who are not GLBT, and they deserve equal respect. I am frustrated that America has reverted so much in the last several years. Why can we not be as progressive a people as folks in say Europe or Canada? Why is it unethical or immoral to be what you are? Why does everyone have to judge and act like they are something so much more important than anyone else? It's just become so selfish, everyone is so damn self-involved.

I find it disturbing and unfair that the GLBT individuals have to fight harder and have to deal with just as much garbage as I feel that Hispanic and African-American folks have to deal with. They are treated as "inadequate" and as "lesser" and that's completely disgusting, just because their lives are the way they are, they feel the way they do does not make them WRONG or even stupid or incapable.

I honestly think it has become more of an epidemic than even say 5 years ago. The fact that we needed a hate-crimes bill (that has since been shot down) is a serious issue with me, and the fact that people feel the need to commit hate-crimes is even moreso. I do not get why it's anyone's business how anyone else lives, and I hate that our government feels it's their place to get involved. Especially with this current joke of an administration. I am disgusted by their beliefs and choices. They harbor the same kind of hate and same lack of acceptance and they make the rest of intolerant America feel like it's ok to think that way.


ETA: I noticed a previous poster's comment on the Military--I totally agree. I think it's garbage that there IS such a policy and I find it sickening that some people think that someone who is gay is incapable of doing their job as a soldier. Gay/Lesbian folks have just as much right and strength as anyone else.

[ame]

Living in Texas, I'm exposed to a lot of intolerance and bigotry, but not really directly - more so just on the news and stuff. I also frequent blogs which cover a lot of gay-related hate crimes and it just makes me more and more thankful for what I have - and more and more disheartened by the human race.

Well said--my inlaws live in Dallas and that was seriously one of my Mother in Law's first thoughts. She can not believe how intolerant the folks she's encountered are. It's soured her on the state honestly, she's met ONE person in the area in 5 years that wasn't a total nutjob of a bigot.

[josh33_unc]

to each his own

judge not lest ye be judged yourself
http://www.cfirecm.com/QandA/Judge%20Not%20Lest%20Ye%20Be%20Judged.htm

i lived with 4 lesbians at one time, 2 sets of female couples. i dont mind em :)

http://angela-stevens.com/archives/what-the-bible-says-and-doesnt-say-about-homosexuality/

[clh]

Fact-I worked with a man for a few years that I always looked up to.Then I found out he was gay.Guess what?20 years later I still look up to him.just because I found out he was gay nothing changed-he is still the same good man he was before I found out he was gay?BTW-he was also a Captain in the Army and served our country.so being a heterosexual doesn't and never will make me any better or worse than any one that may be gay.
If any of my family or friends ever had a problem with my ideas-tough s--t!!!!!

[thesonofgray]

Well said--my inlaws live in Dallas and that was seriously one of my Mother in Law's first thoughts. She can not believe how intolerant the folks she's encountered are. It's soured her on the state honestly, she's met ONE person in the area in 5 years that wasn't a total nutjob of a bigot.

Tell her to visit Austin. It's beautiful and a lot more socially liberal. :)

[ame]

I hope she does. I think she'd LOVE Austin. She has hated Texas since my FIL got transferred there. My Sister in Law and her husband and kiddoo live in Flower Mound (NDallas) and that's the only draw to keeping them there. My FIL will be retiring in a year and they can bug out whenever. Her goal is to move back to the west coast. They are originally from California but want to retire to Oregon (Salem). She likes that the West Coast is also more accepting of people.

[Joy]

Gay all the way, baby! :p

Been with my partner for over 5 years now and couldn't be happier. I suppose you could say I've had a fairly "sheltered" gay life, since I really haven't had any issues thus far. My parents are perfectly ok with it (they actually told me I was gay - funny story bout that one :hee:) and all of my friends are liberal or simply open minded.

Living in Texas, I'm exposed to a lot of intolerance and bigotry, but not really directly - more so just on the news and stuff. I also frequent blogs which cover a lot of gay-related hate crimes and it just makes me more and more thankful for what I have - and more and more disheartened by the human race.

I've also learned that in 99% of cases, when someone doesn't like or approve of gays, they haven't had a chance to get to know one. I met quite a few of people who had the "it's a choice and morally wrong" view and, maybe I'm just a persuasive person, but once they got to know me their opinions changed 180 degrees. A lot of people don't realize that gays just don't populate the Bravo and HGTV networks, but they're also your local engineers, accountants, dentists, lawyers, etc. They just don't realize it because we truly are just like everybody else. :)

I do see a bad ending to this thread, though. Other threads have been closed for much less controversial issues, so I doubt this will end any other way, unfortunately. :(

Thats interesting...when i first told my parents that im attracted to women my mom told me she already knew...and i asked how..she said 'a mother knows her child' i still wanna know what gave it away tho lol! and interestingly enough my family are strong Jehovah Witnesses and although they do not condone of it, im still accepted in my family as the same Joy I have been....i know some whose family isnt so accepting..its unfortunate IMO

[Joy]

I hope the thread doesn't get out of hand. I know there are SU members who may have strong negative feelings about gay folk, but, we also have quite a few openly gay members here. So, I'll subscribe and keep an eye on it. :)

I love good people. I want good people in my life. If you're a good person, I don't care who you love, just don't be a prick. :D

My belief, based on personal experience with gay friends and professional experience writing a series of stories on a domestic partnership bill that failed in the Nevada Legislature 6 years ago, is that people are born gay.

That's what I think. *puts flame suit on*

im sorta on teh fence about that one...i've always thought people were born with the natural attraction to the opposite sex as were the 1st couple on earth...but as a person gets to know themselves that attraction either grows stronger or deteriorates...obviously mine deteriorate a loooooooong time ago lol.

another reason why i dont think people were born gay is for the simple fact of females whno have children of their own but later 'turn' gay as it were...some may argue that they've always been gay but wanted a child of their own or wanted to experience sex with a male...but i feel that if they wanted a child of their own theres always artificial insemination ...that way the child will still be born naturally from the mother and carry some of its mothers genes as opposed to couples adopting..so to me females in that instance weren't born gay...but for watever reason they somehow had an attraction to females and it grew..

[Quill]

That is interesting. I guess I have a hard time believing people would choose to be something that they know will cause them to be judged, ostracized and hated by some. But, I can understand people choosing to embrace who they are and who they love, despite the challenges that can create.

To me, it just seems like instinct, though some folks say they are bi ... I remember reading in psych class in college that people who claim they are bi statistically are younger and eventually as they grow older they gravitate toward one sex and develop a preference.

I've never been attracted to girls or even been curious. I almost think that I'm weird for not even being curious or experimenting. LOL. It just feels weird. I dunno.

I wonder how much societal pressure to conform to gender roles influences the journey a gay person takes to figuring out they're gay? I mean, it's a common experience from what I understand, for gay people to have hetero relationships and all before realizing they're gay (when their parents tell them lol). I tend to think that happens because that's what we think we're supposed to do and feel. I dunno, it's a whole nature vs nurture discussion that is totally philosophical and esoteric. :D

I'm just typing aloud here.

[clh]

I just want everyone to know how impressed I am in the mature and sensitive way everyone has responded to Joy's post.It just reaffirms why I hope to always be a SU member.
Quill-thanks for letting the thread continue.
God Bless everybody!!!

[Joy]

That is interesting. I guess I have a hard time believing people would choose to be something that they know will cause them to be judged, ostracized and hated by some. But, I can understand people choosing to embrace who they are and who they love, despite the challenges that can create.



See Quill...you keep proving my point (imo) lol...that people aren't actually born gay. For example...you said you have a hard time believing people who would choose to be something that they kno will cause them to be judged etc...but i take that as an interracial couple for instance. Some still to this day feel a certain way about that. Yet the two people involved in the relationship know that since some frown upon it that they will be hated by some...yet they CHOSE to be with that person of another race...or were they born wanting to date another race? not likely...

[Quill]

Hmm. That's hard to argue with since there are similarities ... I believe people fall in love with who they fall in love with and you can't help that so if you fall in love with someone of another race then that's how it is ... though some people seek people of a specific race, too, because of what seems like a conscience preference versus and instinctive, gut attraction.

But, and I'm no expert, I don't know that people's racial preferences for their partners are hard wired into them. On the other hand, some folks naturally gravitate toward folks of a certain race, while others gravitate toward anyone of the gender they are attracted to. :D

I know there have been studies done that show support my theory but of course I can't recall any of that data. Heh.

It's an interesting discussion. I mean, at some point, you do have to make a choice. If you recognize that you are attracted to those of the same sex you then have to decide if you will embrace it, fight it, hide it or whatever. But it seems to me that is the level the choice is at and that the fundamental issue of one's sexual orientation just happens on a biological level.

Just thinking about it, I don't know that I ever said, yep I like boys. LOL. I was just drawn to them. Part of that is surely the instinct to procreate ... not everyone is wired the same.

It kind of all goes back to nature vs nurture. In America, we're raised to fall into certain gender roles, and within those gender roles there are societal rules or expectations that state generally that one ought to be attracted to members of the opposite sex. This comes from all directions, family, friends, school, the media and it can overwhelm whatever instinct one may have that doesn't fit those generally accepted expectations.

Joy, how did you come to the point where you thought, 'I am attracted to women and not men?"

If you don't mind sharing, that is. :) I'm just curious. I don't know if it will fit my theory or yours. But it would be an interesting story.

[NINO63004]

I know a few gay guys and they are no different to me than anyone else. They know I'm straight and they don't put me in any uncomfortable situations at all. One of them is my g/f's good friend. They grew up dancing together.

As for if your born gay or choose I don't know where I stand on that. All I know is if your gay your still human and no different than me being straight.



Nino

[Joy]

I dont mind sharing...but i remember in middle school having a strong attraction towards females but hell i was young...i didnt know what it was ..i just thought 'o such and such is pretty' and didnt think anything of it...it wasn't until i moved from where im from (oklahoma) to where i currently live (california) when i was 19 that my curiosity in women grew amensely and i agree with whoever said 'they only believe people are BI until they reach a certain age of maturity to distinguish between the 2' because yes ive dated men or whatever but sad to say i've never felt the attraction nor WANT for a man that i have for women....and i mean that in ALL aspects...

[josh33_unc]

joy probably became gay after she saw devals many pics on here . . . . . :joke:

[Joy]

joy probably became gay after she saw devals many pics on here . . . . . :joke:


how'd you know??? jk...deval hunnie whereva u r u kno we go waaaaaay bak ;)

[thesonofgray]

I think people are no more born gay than they are born straight. I think sexuality develops as a person grows, and those like myself just developed an attraction to the same sex. The reasons for that are probably numerous (and largely unknown) but I know from personal experience that it isn't a choice. Some have attempted to link it to some sort of trauma, but I don't think that is the case for most lgbt people. I've had probably the least traumatic life possible and i've never been attracted to women.

I'd go into more thoughts (cause you all know i have many :) ) but i'm in a hospital waiting room and lengthy posts on a phone is no fun. (neither are hospital waiting rooms :( )

[ame]

Uhm, why in a waiting room in the hospital?!!

[Dragonman]

Because I was molested by a male teacher I hated gay people for years. I was constantly trying to prove to myself that I wasn't gay even though I didn't become aroused when he touched my genitals. I slept with pretty much any woman who'd have me, was always seeking "masculine" jobs and hobbies (hunting, martial arts etc.) I guess I figured I was ultra masculine I couldn't be gay.

I've accepted that what happened to me had absolutley nothing to do with my own sexual orientation, and that I was victimized.

When I started with Sprint one of my co-workers was openly gay. I wanted to get to know him because I'd never had a friend who was gay. We spoke openly and I was respectful and curious about his life.

I regret that I spent so many years hating what I was afraid I was even though there was never any attraction to men.

I now simply accept people for what they are and try and figure out what I can learn from them.

GLBT are only people with a different point of view. I lean towards the view that gay people choose to be gay, but even if that's true it's THEIR choice and doesn't change their worth in society.

I choose to live and let live as long as it doesn't threaten me of my family. If I found out one or all orf my childeren were gay I may not like what they choose to do but I'll never stop loving them.

[tla710]

My baby brother is gay. It was a bit difficult to accept when he told my mother and I. He was afraid to tell my father because he knew my father would not like it.

Honestly, I don't like it either. However, I love my brother more than life and I'll never turn my back on him. I have a friend who is a lesbian. We were friends prior to her admitting she loved women. She knows how I feel about that lifestyle and yet we've remained friends.

I may not like it, but I care for both my brother and my friend. As a Christian, I'm super big on love. And love covers a multitude of sins.

[FloorMatt]

They are human beings, and deserve no less of treatment than anyone else fitting that description. Plain and Simple. :)

[Wayne 1]

No problem here. :)

[thesonofgray]

Uhm, why in a waiting room in the hospital?!!

Ugh 5 hours in the emergency room. I'll try to keep the story short if anybody cares, but coincidentally (since we're talking about gay people), my boyfriend and I were eating at Bennigan's and out of no where he blacked out with seizure like symptoms. :( He has NEVER done anything like that before and is completely healthy, but he snapped out of it after about 10 seconds and we went immediately to the hospital. Of course, since he was one of the few there who was breathing we waited for 4 hours before we got any help. They couldn't find anything obvious so he's going in again soon for more tests. This whole thing scared the f-ing **** outta me and him but hopefully it's just a fluke. :(

Because I was molested by a male teacher I hated gay people for years. I was constantly trying to prove to myself that I wasn't gay even though I didn't become aroused when he touched my genitals. I slept with pretty much any woman who'd have me, was always seeking "masculine" jobs and hobbies (hunting, martial arts etc.) I guess I figured I was ultra masculine I couldn't be gay.

dragonman, I am really sorry that happened to you. I'm really happy to hear that you are comfortable enough with yourself that you can share that traumatic experience with us and have gone to live your life and have a family and such. I hope that guy has gotten / is getting what he deserves. :mad:


I just want to thank everyone for being kind about this issue. It's great to not have to defend or fight for at least a minuscule amount of respect.

[clh]

I don't think anyone on this board will ever have to worry about defending or fighting for respect from fellow members.That's what makes this board so successful and interesting.

[Dragonman]

Ugh


dragonman, I am really sorry that happened to you. I'm really happy to hear that you are comfortable enough with yourself that you can share that traumatic experience with us and have gone to live your life and have a family and such. I hope that guy has gotten / is getting what he deserves. :mad:


I just want to thank everyone for being kind about this issue. It's great to not have to defend or fight for at least a minuscule amount of respect.

Thank you. I only recently even admitted I was molested. I always said "he tried" . He had apparrently "tried" with many other students both before and after me. He did finally get caught and went to prison.

I carried around a towering resentment and rage for almost 20 years. I've dumped all that crap so I can FINALLY move on with my life.

I was very hesitant to post about it and your response makes me feel like it was the right thing to do. This thread has become another healing step for me. Thank you again.

What happened to me was more about pedophilia than sexual orientation and had NOTHING to do with MY sexual orientation. It's too bad it took me so long to realize that and that I hated for so many years because of it. I will always despise pedophilic behavior regardless of the orientation of the abuser but good people sometimes get sick and can heal with the help of other good people (like I've found here @ SU) and some Higher Power.

I agree with the above poster gay people are PEOPLE and ALL people deserve respect. My co-worker taught me that.

[some18mybrain]

Ugh 5 hours in the emergency room. I'll try to keep the story short if anybody cares, but coincidentally (since we're talking about gay people), my boyfriend and I were eating at Bennigan's and out of no where he blacked out with seizure like symptoms. :( He has NEVER done anything like that before and is completely healthy, but he snapped out of it after about 10 seconds and we went immediately to the hospital. Of course, since he was one of the few there who was breathing we waited for 4 hours before we got any help. They couldn't find anything obvious so he's going in again soon for more tests. This whole thing scared the f-ing **** outta me and him but hopefully it's just a fluke. :(

Wow! I hope he is feeling better. Send along my best wishes.

[Yummi]

alot of my friend are gay. alot of my friends are straight. a bunch of us have kids too. and houses. and cars. i think u get me here.

we are people, first and foremost. the only time i will EVER have an issue with SGLBT person is if they are a pedofile and come after my kids.

who u love is who u love. there are people on this board i would o to extraordinary lengths for because i love them.

i even have a friend who i told i would have a child for him and his partner, because i love him.

in the end, as long as we aren't sharing a lover, because i am selfish in that respect, we have no issues.

[mjohns2]

Coming from bi-racial parents I was always taught you don't pick who you fall in love with, so no problems here.

[ame]

Ugh 5 hours in the emergency room. I'll try to keep the story short if anybody cares, but coincidentally (since we're talking about gay people), my boyfriend and I were eating at Bennigan's and out of no where he blacked out with seizure like symptoms. :( He has NEVER done anything like that before and is completely healthy, but he snapped out of it after about 10 seconds and we went immediately to the hospital. Of course, since he was one of the few there who was breathing we waited for 4 hours before we got any help. They couldn't find anything obvious so he's going in again soon for more tests. This whole thing scared the f-ing **** outta me and him but hopefully it's just a fluke. :(



OMG! That's insane! I hope that they can figure out what's going on, and take care of it quickly.

[thesonofgray]

Thank you. I only recently even admitted I was molested. I always said "he tried" . He had apparrently "tried" with many other students both before and after me. He did finally get caught and went to prison.

I carried around a towering resentment and rage for almost 20 years. I've dumped all that crap so I can FINALLY move on with my life.

I think that is the biggest and hardest step to take, and the most fulfilling one - as you've found out with your wife and children. I'm just really glad to hear that since all too often it doesn't turn out that way. I wish you the best in regaining everything in your life that that sick man took away.

I was very hesitant to post about it and your response makes me feel like it was the right thing to do. This thread has become another healing step for me. Thank you again.

What happened to me was more about pedophilia than sexual orientation and had NOTHING to do with MY sexual orientation. It's too bad it took me so long to realize that and that I hated for so many years because of it. I will always despise pedophilic behavior regardless of the orientation of the abuser but good people sometimes get sick and can heal with the help of other good people (like I've found here @ SU) and some Higher Power.

I agree with the above poster gay people are PEOPLE and ALL people deserve respect. My co-worker taught me that.

Yes! Of course it was the right thing to do. The point where you can talk about your experience freely is the point in which you are free of that experience.

And yes, we shouldn't forget that pedophilia crosses the sexual orientation boundaries, and it's just about the sickest thing anyone can do no matter who they are.

Wow! I hope he is feeling better. Send along my best wishes.

OMG! That's insane! I hope that they can figure out what's going on, and take care of it quickly.

Thanks a bunch! He's acting like nothing happened, like he's completely healthy like usual, so I hope it was just some fluke. Of course, being the shy and modest guy he is, he's trying to act like nothing happened and not draw attention to himself (the shrug it off mentality), but I'm going to make sure he goes through any tests the doctors recommend. :fingers:

[jh101_7]

I am gay. And I honestly don't believe it is choice. Quill your post pretty much says it all.

Thesonsofgray, how is your boyfriend doing? I hope all is well.

Any GLBT members here wanna start texting/chating? Just ask for my number or blackberry pin.

[donblay]

Well, when I first saw this post title I thought "oh god, its probably a sh*t-storm by now. But I have to say I'm amazed by what I've read so far. I'm sure there are people here that are negative towards gays and lesbians, and they're maybe some negative posts here yet still; but the fact that this thread has been open and positive is great.
I've been impressed with posts by tla710's post and moved by dragonman's. With tla710; I appreciate you were honest and said you don't agree with it; but you still let love prevail. I think that’s great. Dragonman, I think its amazing that you were able to go through such a horrible ordeal and still come out positive in the end. I can only imagine how hard it was for you to come to grips with what happened to you (and to be able to admit it and talk about with others; amazing). And its amazing that you have been able find peace with a community which probably on the surface reminded you of someone who did so much wrong to you. Its great that you could see past the pain and realized that not all gays are like him. Both accounts are true testaments to how compassion, caring, understanding and love can overcome.
I too am gay. I've been with my bf for 6+ years now. I have dated women in the past (my last gf was for 5 years; and after it all we're still friends, I even went to her wedding this past summer). I believe that I'm probably somewhere in the middle; but definitely more attracted to men. I tend to think we're more born with our orientation; like many of our human characteristics. The in-born element does not 100% define if we'll be straight or gay (like if we'll be susceptible to cancers or balding etc) but in conjunction with our environment it is a factor. I know I can say I never chose to be attracted to other men, it just always was. Even as a kid/teen I remember being attracted to guys. But at the time I confused it with thinking I wanted to be like them, not that I was attracted to them. Over time I came to understand my feelings more. In my personal experience it wasn't a choice to be gay, but it was a choice to accept it. and I have to say I'm much happier now and I'm proud of who I am. My family has been more than accepting with it and so have all my friends. I've been lucky that I've never lost any friends over it when I came out several years ago. In my experience (at least with my friends) I found it’s a much bigger deal to you than it is to them. It wasn't this big traumatic ordeal to any of them like I was afraid it was going to be.
And also being gay is just one element of who you are; it doesn't define you. just as being straight doesn’t just lump them up into one group of all being the same.
But ok, I've written way too much for now….. time to get back to work now…lol.

[ikandi]

I have a few gay/bi friends both male and female. My best friend (for 10 years) who is bi, admitted to me that she likes women about 5 years ago. I don't remember how the conversation came about but out of nowhere she asks if we would still be friends if I knew she was bi.... I of course was joking and said H E L L NO. We left it at that for about 2 months but later on I brought it up again because I was curious to know why she asked me that. So finally she told me that she was bi since the age of 15. And my gay male friends are some of the coolest people to hang out with (having so many jokes) But anyways I have no problems with bi women.... I'm straight so as long as that is out in the open we are cool unless you cross that line.

[Quill]

donblay, I admit, I was a bit concerned at first about the thread but I figured I'd give it a chance and see how the discussion took shape ...

I'm really pleased to be able to have such an open, honest, civil and provocative discussion. This really shows the best of SU. If only we could all be so great when a new PDA phone comes out ... lol.

I feel pretty strongly about gay rights. Early in my career as a journalist I had the great fortune to meet a lot of really amazing, kind, strong gay couples in Vegas while working on a series of stories about a domestic partnership bill. I didn't really know any gay people growing up in Bellevue, Wash., which is a pretty affluent and conservative community. My older sister had a gay friend that I thought was cool but it wasn't until I was 22 and working my first real journalism job that I got to know gay folks and that really formed my feelings on the topic and gay rights and so forth.

Over the years, particularly through SU, I've met more and more gay people. Hell, Matt and I drool over Hugh Jackman together. :p

I wouldn't trade the friends I have who are gay or my experiences writing about gay rights for anything.

[Proctor]

I have friends who are gay and I don't think any differently of them because of it. I do have issues with gay men and public displays of affection. Sorry, but it grosses me out. It's not a moral judgement or anything like that, it just really grosses me out. But as long as I don't have to see the PDA, I really don't care.

[donblay]

I have friends who are gay and I don't think any differently of them because of it. I do have issues with gay men and public displays of affection. Sorry, but it grosses me out. It's not a moral judgement or anything like that, it just really grosses me out. But as long as I don't have to see the PDA, I really don't care.

fair enough, i find it gross when fat or ugly people do PDAs (doesn't matter on their orientation) too. i just tend to to look though when it happens fin front of me....easy enough

[donblay]

Coming from bi-racial parents I was always taught you don't pick who you fall in love with
well said!

[thesonofgray]

I am gay. And I honestly don't believe it is choice. Quill your post pretty much says it all.

Thesonsofgray, how is your boyfriend doing? I hope all is well.

He's doing fine, thanks for asking! His last doctor's appointment is tomorrow, and I'm sure they'll just say if it happens again to come and see them so they can buy that new Porsche they've been eyeing. :rolleyes: Anyways, he's doing good and acting like if nothing happened. Hopefully it will stay like that. :)

Well, when I first saw this post title I thought "oh god, its probably a sh*t-storm by now. But I have to say I'm amazed by what I've read so far. I'm sure there are people here that are negative towards gays and lesbians, and they're maybe some negative posts here yet still; but the fact that this thread has been open and positive is great.

In my personal experience it wasn't a choice to be gay, but it was a choice to accept it. and I have to say I'm much happier now and I'm proud of who I am. My family has been more than accepting with it and so have all my friends. I've been lucky that I've never lost any friends over it when I came out several years ago. In my experience (at least with my friends) I found it’s a much bigger deal to you than it is to them. It wasn't this big traumatic ordeal to any of them like I was afraid it was going to be.
And also being gay is just one element of who you are; it doesn't define you. just as being straight doesn’t just lump them up into one group of all being the same.

I'm positive there are some here with a very negative view towards LGBT people and issues, but the fact that they are letting us have our gay little party in peace speaks positively of this online community. :D

:Party:

As for the bolded stuff, you couldn't be more right or have said it better. :tu:

[jh101_7]

Don I agree with you 100%.

[jh101_7]

Thesonsofgray: its good to hear he is ok and it was nothing serious.


Also, I'm glad we finanlly have a gay thread. I know we use to have one in the RL section but I didn't participate in that thread. And I am glad this thread is going well and is not a war.

[donblay]

so out of curiousity, how many people here are out at work?
even though i obviously have not problem with who i am and i'm out to all my friends and whole family; i'm not out at work. i don't hide it, but its more of a don't ask don't tell approach. i mainly just feel its not relavent to work; but also part of the reason is because i don't need someone else's predjudice or bigotry to interfer with my career. I don't know if there would be any issues (most likely not), but i just don't know if there's any reaons or point to comming out at work.
Anyhow, just wondering others thoughts on this issue.

[Joy]

so out of curiousity, how many people here are out at work?
even though i obviously have not problem with who i am and i'm out to all my friends and whole family; i'm not out at work. i don't hide it, but its more of a don't ask don't tell approach. i mainly just feel its not relavent to work; but also part of the reason is because i don't need someone else's predjudice or bigotry to interfer with my career. I don't know if there would be any issues (most likely not), but i just don't know if there's any reaons or point to comming out at work.
Anyhow, just wondering others thoughts on this issue.

I'm like this (whether work, home, wateva) I will tell you yes I'm lesbian if asked but I don't feel the need to 'wear it across my forehead' so to speak. I agree with you abt work...what relevance is it there? although everyone @ my job knows I am haha....but serious its not like I run up to people and say 'i like girls!' but if they ask..ill tell

[thesonofgray]

so out of curiousity, how many people here are out at work?
even though i obviously have not problem with who i am and i'm out to all my friends and whole family; i'm not out at work. i don't hide it, but its more of a don't ask don't tell approach. i mainly just feel its not relavent to work; but also part of the reason is because i don't need someone else's predjudice or bigotry to interfer with my career. I don't know if there would be any issues (most likely not), but i just don't know if there's any reaons or point to comming out at work.
Anyhow, just wondering others thoughts on this issue.

No. Simple answer as to why is because a lot of my employer's clients are small town Texas (the city and other municipal gov'ts). But I highly doubt my fellow employees would have any issue if they knew (cause they absolutely love me! :p).

I do tend to make friends out of coworkers though, so two fellow employees know I'm gay and guess what? One of them is gay too. :D We both happen to be some of the most productive employees there, and the company and superiors very well know we could find an easily accessible and higher paying replacement position elsewhere if they made it attractive to do so.

I know I just totally tooted my own horn there, :ty:, but that's the sad state (but good for us!) position the engineering field is in right now. Everytime another report says less and less students are going into engineering fields, the more and more engineers grin.

Anyways, back on topic, in any situation I always scope out the environment and find myself someone I suspect is trustworthy and open minded (read: not ultraconservative or uber religious) and "buddy-up" to them. When I am comfortable enough with them, and the topic is appropriate, they'll know. That does come with risks, especially with people you work with, but I seem to have pretty good judgment (or luck) on who can handle the earth-shattering realization that I think guys are hot. :ohcrap:

Plus, it's Austin. It's hard to be a productive bigot-company in Austin. :lmao:

[Jake]

fair enough, i find it gross when fat or ugly people do PDAs (doesn't matter on their orientation) too. i just tend to to look though when it happens fin front of me....easy enough

:laughing:!!!!!!

That was priceless.

[Joy]

No. Simple answer as to why is because a lot of my employer's clients are small town Texas (the city and other municipal gov'ts). But I highly doubt my fellow employees would have any issue if they knew (cause they absolutely love me! :p).

I do tend to make friends out of coworkers though, so two fellow employees know I'm gay and guess what? One of them is gay too. :D We both happen to be some of the most productive employees there, and the company and superiors very well know we could find an easily accessible and higher paying replacement position elsewhere if they made it attractive to do so.

I know I just totally tooted my own horn there, :ty:, but that's the sad state (but good for us!) position the engineering field is in right now. Everytime another report says less and less students are going into engineering fields, the more and more engineers grin.

Anyways, back on topic, in any situation I always scope out the environment and find myself someone I suspect is trustworthy and open minded (read: not ultraconservative or uber religious) and "buddy-up" to them. When I am comfortable enough with them, and the topic is appropriate, they'll know. That does come with risks, especially with people you work with, but I seem to have pretty good judgment (or luck) on who can handle the earth-shattering realization that I think guys are hot. :ohcrap:

Plus, it's Austin. It's hard to be a productive bigot-company in Austin. :lmao:

i totally understand...u live in TX and up until 3 yrs ago i was born and raised in Oklahoma...2 bible states huh? lol not only that, the majority of my fam are jehovah witnesess

[Sir Andrew]

I frankly don't care about the Lettuce Garlic Bacon and Tomato 'community'.

And just what makes them a 'community'? Are they some foreign group?

[Joy]

I frankly don't care about the Lettuce Garlic Bacon and Tomato 'community'.

And just what makes them a 'community'? Are they some foreign group?

basic definition of community is COMMON INTERESTS, ENJOYMENT, OR POSSESSION....anything or group of people that enjoy the same things can be defined as a 'community' ...all the people on this board share a common interest ergo 'community' ...straight people share a common interest of heterosexuality ergo 'community' ...gay people share a common interest of people of the same sex ergo 'community' ...get the point? ;)

[thesonofgray]

I frankly don't care about the Lettuce Garlic Bacon and Tomato 'community'.

Well I surely do. BLT's are gooood. :hungry: And without garlic, how can we protect ourselves from vampires? :secret:

[FloorMatt]

I'm not gay, but I figure...it's not something you just throw around to people, speech wise, right? I mean, if you look at it this way, if it's an internal attribute that you feel inclined towards, and whats that the business of anyone else?

I mean, I don't go around letting people know that I'm into doing *insert something, someone, some group here*, let alone say...men. (which I'm not, as I mentioned :p )

Just throwin' around thoughts!

[brad162]

I've got a few friends who are gay and i have no problems with them, one of my boss' is also gay, but that does not affect how i think of any of them. We all still hang out, sometimes drink and have fun doing whatever i'd do with my "straight" friends, although i do have to admit that some of my gay friends tend to be a little more fun to hang around with, especially at the bar when they get going on about how a woman is nasty :D , although only my boss has done that.. we sometimes will get into a debate about it, then usually laugh and buy each other a drink.

honestly, you're still a person to me and that's all that matters. I've came across a few people who were completely pig headed on the issue, and sure we've argued a little, but i figure that people are people and they're going to think what they want to anyways.

I've been questioned on my own sexuality by some of these same people just because i hang out with them, but i honestly don't care they can think what they want too :)

[thesonofgray]

I'm not gay, but I figure...it's not something you just throw around to people, speech wise, right? I mean, if you look at it this way, if it's an internal attribute that you feel inclined towards, and whats that the business of anyone else?

I mean, I don't go around letting people know that I'm into doing *insert something, someone, some group here*, let alone say...men. (which I'm not, as I mentioned :p )

Just throwin' around thoughts!

Yes, FloorMatt, we know you're straight. :lol:

The interesting thing about what you say is that it's quite surprising to a lot of people how much sexuality plays a basic and sometimes public role in their everyday life. I'm sure it varies between individuals, but how many times do you talk to friends, coworkers, family, and even simple acquaintances about, say, your wife (if you have one)? Or kids? Or dating? Or even sex? I think gay people have a keen sense of how much a person's sexuality is readily known, or could be known, by the things you say and do everyday.

Since I realize that society hasn't come to a point where gay people aren't generally judged badly by who they love, I still (as an out gay 21yo) avoid topics about family or dating with people I'm not 100% comfortable with. Those who are straight probably don't think twice about saying something about their wife or how attractive that person is - but most gay people have to think twice, if they don't want to be vulnerable to attacks (emotional and physical).

I never just exclaim to people, "I'm gay!!", but let a lot of people know indirectly when we have conversations about significant others and other various topics (like in SU, I have said many things that would imply that I'm gay before just saying it).

As for threads like these, I don't think they are an exclamation of someone's sexuality - more like an outlet where people can talk and feel comfortable with those who have similar life experiences, since walking on eggshells everyday making sure you don't "slip" and accidentally let your sexuality be known can be tiresome.

That's my opinion, anyways. :)

[thesonofgray]

I've got a few friends who are gay and i have no problems with them, one of my boss' is also gay, but that does not affect how i think of any of them. We all still hang out, sometimes drink and have fun doing whatever i'd do with my "straight" friends, although i do have to admit that some of my gay friends tend to be a little more fun to hang around with, especially at the bar when they get going on about how a woman is nasty :D , although only my boss has done that.. we sometimes will get into a debate about it, then usually laugh and buy each other a drink.

honestly, you're still a person to me and that's all that matters. I've came across a few people who were completely pig headed on the issue, and sure we've argued a little, but i figure that people are people and they're going to think what they want to anyways.

I've been questioned on my own sexuality by some of these same people just because i hang out with them, but i honestly don't care they can think what they want too :)

You're awesome. :tu:

[FloorMatt]

Yes, FloorMatt, we know you're straight. :lol:

The interesting thing about what you say is that it's quite surprising to a lot of people how much sexuality plays a basic and sometimes public role in their everyday life. I'm sure it varies between individuals, but how many times do you talk to friends, coworkers, family, and even simple acquaintances about, say, your wife (if you have one)? Or kids? Or dating? Or even sex? I think gay people have a keen sense of how much a person's sexuality is readily known, or could be known, by the things you say and do everyday.

Since I realize that society hasn't come to a point where gay people aren't generally judged badly by who they love, I still (as an out gay 21yo) avoid topics about family or dating with people I'm not 100% comfortable with. Those who are straight probably don't think twice about saying something about their wife or how attractive that person is - but most gay people have to think twice, if they don't want to be vulnerable to attacks (emotional and physical).

I never just exclaim to people, "I'm gay!!", but let a lot of people know indirectly when we have conversations about significant others and other various topics (like in SU, I have said many things that would imply that I'm gay before just saying it).

As for threads like these, I don't think they are an exclamation of someone's sexuality - more like an outlet where people can talk and feel comfortable with those who have similar life experiences, since walking on eggshells everyday making sure you don't "slip" and accidentally let your sexuality be known can be tiresome.

That's my opinion, anyways. :)

Good post. :tu:

I was going to rephrase what I said (the added part about "doing men" lol), because I didn't want to emphasize that connotation it had (I didn't want to relate what I was explaining to just a part of some gay relationships, but was trying to give a general example as related to other lifestyles that may be out there.) But anyways, I just left it in there for the heck of it, to see what response would come back. :hee: I, for one, do not believe that's all there is to ANY relationship; it's about the other feelings, the most...the lasting ones.

But I do agree with you on the fact that many people relate Gay/Lesbian relationships to certain stereotypes, among other stereotypical remarks that can be made about other groups of people.

[thesonofgray]

Good post. :tu:

I was going to rephrase what I said (the added part about "doing men" lol), because I didn't want to emphasize that connotation it had (I didn't want to relate what I was explaining to just a part of some gay relationships, but was trying to give a general example as related to other lifestyles that may be out there.) But anyways, I just left it in there for the heck of it, to see what response would come back. :hee: I, for one, do not believe that's all there is to ANY relationship; it's about the other feelings, the most...the lasting ones.

But I do agree with you on the fact that many people relate Gay/Lesbian relationships to certain stereotypes, among other stereotypical remarks that can be made about other groups of people.

Sex and the emotions/feelings/actions that lead to it are often fleeting. A relationship will only be meaningful and last if the non-physical attraction is there. So, in that respect, I love a man first and foremost, and occasionally "do him". :ohcrap: Oh yeah, I said it. Everyone can freak out now. :lol:

I think it's hilarious that people are so afraid to talk about sex in general. (But I know this isn't the place to do so even if people were comfortable, so I'll leave it at that. :hee:)

Anyways, FloorMatt, you seem to be having a philandering affair with your Touch, so who knows what that sexuality is. :lol: (I am so kidding.)

[Quill]

That would be known as technosexual, sonofgray, technosexual. :p

[RobZombie20]

I have no problem with gay people and I think they should be treated equally. I mean people should do whatever makes them happy. I think they should have equal rights as well so if they want to get married then let them, isn't marriage about love between two people anyway? If they want to adopt a child then don't hold them back just because its not what most of society calls traditional. If the child is loved and taken care of then isn't that all that matters? I'd rather have a gay couple raise a child right then having it raised with a straight couple who use drugs, hurt the child, or generally puts the child in danger. It just makes me so mad when people are ignorant and close minded, everyone deserves there right to an opinion within reason don't get me wrong but when I see or am around a close minded person I think to myself how stupid they make themselves look and I am so glad I'm not like that. If you choose to separate yourself from people just because they're gay or whatever then its your decision but aren't you cutting out a massive amount of people who may be a great positive impact on your life? You'd never know how great a person could be just because of ignorance. And I'm not trying to bring religion in but they say being gay is a "sin" but we all but we all "sin", its unavoidable. In fact, I think a lot of gay men have great personalities and would make much better friends than a girl.

[FloorMatt]

If only everyone knew the things I do with the Touch...Mmm.

Makes the Q jealous, I tell ya. :hearts: Not to mention, the A900 likes to watch.

[Matt]

Not here too FM. We hear enough about it in chat.

ick.

[Jake]

If only everyone knew the things I do with the Touch...Mmm.

Makes the Q jealous, I tell ya. :hearts: Not to mention, the A900 likes to watch.

Oh my. The vibrate function hasn't worn out yet? The in store tech should be able to replace it for $75, but your Touch is probably liquid damaged as well.

[budwest]

What goes on behind closed doors is the business of the parties involved behind those doors and no one else!

Live and let live!

[PrincessPixie]

I've actually avoided posting in this thread until right now. I've been involved in gay relationships for most of my life. I've never labeled myself gay or straight. My relationship prior to this one was a 5yr relationship with a woman I'd had a "commitment" ceremony with.

I'm now dating a man, and am constantly berated by my "friends and family" in the gay community. My point is this, just like I didn't choose to love women, I didn't choose to love this man.

I'm really rather jaded on the whole "love everyone and let everyone live" thing right now. I've been ostracized by my family for loving a woman, then ostracized by my surrogate family for loving a man? It doesn't matter much anymore, I think. I was always "out" at work, home, school, I just didn't care. And yes, I was discrimated against for it, but I figured, what the hey. I'm always discriminated against anyway for being a woman in the "men's" career fields. Or for being "too cute". Or for being hispanic. I really don't care and don't dwell on any of it. If I did, that would only cripple me in the long run. And I've had hate crimes happen to me, and that's another one of those "Get up, dust yourself off, get over it" situations to me. The longer you dwell on things like that, the worse off you are in the long run. You assess the situation, determine what can be done to better it, and just do it.

I'm definetly not against the Lettace Garlic Bacon and Tomato thing, that sounds tasty!

[donblay]

you know, you bring up an interesting point; about gays who discriminate in reverse. i've actually remember this one guy i used to know saying he could never trust or data a "bi guy", and he even acted a bit differently to me when he found out i've been with women before. i couldn't see his reasoning; and never really cared either. i can only guess that his trust issue would have been that with me being with a woman i was lieing or hiding something; which of course isn't true. when i was with my ex i really did love her and i faked nothing. just because he's not attracted to women in any way doesn't mean i can't be.
i don't wanna put a negative spin onto this thread, but just though Pixiedrea had a good point that sometimes prejudice works in reverse; and that of course is still just as wrong. so strange that some people on the minority side of an issue can be just as close-minded as those they accuse ostracizing them.
I've actually avoided posting in this thread until right now. I've been involved in gay relationships for most of my life. I've never labeled myself gay or straight. My relationship prior to this one was a 5yr relationship with a woman I'd had a "commitment" ceremony with.

I'm now dating a man, and am constantly berated by my "friends and family" in the gay community. My point is this, just like I didn't choose to love women, I didn't choose to love this man.

I'm really rather jaded on the whole "love everyone and let everyone live" thing right now. I've been ostracized by my family for loving a woman, then ostracized by my surrogate family for loving a man? It doesn't matter much anymore, I think. I was always "out" at work, home, school, I just didn't care. And yes, I was discrimated against for it, but I figured, what the hey. I'm always discriminated against anyway for being a woman in the "men's" career fields. Or for being "too cute". Or for being hispanic. I really don't care and don't dwell on any of it. If I did, that would only cripple me in the long run. And I've had hate crimes happen to me, and that's another one of those "Get up, dust yourself off, get over it" situations to me. The longer you dwell on things like that, the worse off you are in the long run. You assess the situation, determine what can be done to better it, and just do it.

I'm definetly not against the Lettace Garlic Bacon and Tomato thing, that sounds tasty!

[Matt]

Gay people scare me.





:hee:

[donblay]

I'm definetly not against the Lettace Garlic Bacon and Tomato thing, that sounds tasty!

i agree with this too, i think i just got an idea for lunch now.....lol

[donblay]

Gay people scare me.





:hee:
http://www.donblay.info/sprint/screensavers/gay_pride/~I_See_Gay_People.jpg

[Ronkh]

None of my business. What goes on between 2 consenting adults is none of my business. I got enough trouble keeping my life on track to meddle into someone elses affairs (pun intended).

but as a side note - I am so waiting for Rosie Odonnel to have to pay alimony.

[knucklehead]

None of my business. What goes on between 2 consenting adults is none of my business. I got enough trouble keeping my life on track to meddle into someone elses affairs (pun intended).

but as a side note - I am so waiting for Rosie Odonnel to have to pay alimony.

Well said.:tu:

[rennyn]

you know, you bring up an interesting point; about gays who discriminate in reverse. i've actually remember this one guy i used to know saying he could never trust or data a "bi guy", and he even acted a bit differently to me when he found out i've been with women before.

Well this one can have a few different facets. In someone looking for a long term relationship, it is easy to see how they might react different to someone who is bi.

It is pretty much instinctual for us to seek approval and want to be what our partner wants most. The problem is, if you're dating someone who is bi, and don't fully understand things, you could have some apprehension always thinking "Well what if they leave me down the road because I can't give them everything they want.. they like both sexes. I can't be as pretty/handsome as a guy/girl." or whatever.

I know that isn't the case with most bi people, but I've definitely seen it happen, and you have to admit, when you're with someone who finds people attractive that you can NEVER be like, it is something they will have to work to put passed them.

Did that make any sense? lol

[Joy]

you know, you bring up an interesting point; about gays who discriminate in reverse. i've actually remember this one guy i used to know saying he could never trust or data a "bi guy", and he even acted a bit differently to me when he found out i've been with women before. i couldn't see his reasoning; and never really cared either. i can only guess that his trust issue would have been that with me being with a woman i was lieing or hiding something; which of course isn't true. when i was with my ex i really did love her and i faked nothing. just because he's not attracted to women in any way doesn't mean i can't be.
i don't wanna put a negative spin onto this thread, but just though Pixiedrea had a good point that sometimes prejudice works in reverse; and that of course is still just as wrong. so strange that some people on the minority side of an issue can be just as close-minded as those they accuse ostracizing them.

welp i guess im a prejudiced lesbian because I for one (everyone has their own preference) do NOT date bi-sexual women................I have plenty of them as friends but I'd never date a bi female... thats just me tho...

[PrincessPixie]

welp i guess im a prejudiced lesbian because I for one (everyone has their own preference) do NOT date bi-sexual women................I have plenty of them as friends but I'd never date a bi female... thats just me tho...

And that's the thing about the "community" that has always irked me! I mean, we're all supposed to be fighting together as one community, but the instant you find out one of us is different, you change. I really don't mean to bring any bad vibes to the thread, honestly I don't. But I really do get upset by the "warm and fuzzy" feeling that's going on in the "Lebsian Gay BISEXUAL Transgender" thread, when so many of the Lesbians and Gays disicriminate against the Bisexuals.

I don't know where exactly the fear originated, but most Bisexuals that I know of are NOT as promiscuous as they are portrayed to be. Again, I don't label myself as Lesbian or Bisexual or Heterosexual. I just happened to fall in love with a woman, then later after that relationship ended, with a man. Those that I know of that do call themselved "Bi" usually are attracted more to one sex than the other, and would never leave their partner just because they don't have the "parts" that are attractive to them.

I'm sorry, I don't mean to be a downer, but I just wanted to get this point of view out there.

[nycgay23]

Very interesting thread, and a good read too. I will also add that I'm surprised by how this thread has kept its integrity!

[nycgay23]

Along similar lines to what Pixidrea is saying, I have had some gay friends (in the past) question my friendships with straight women and men. I don't necessarily know why it's that way, but the majority of my friends aren't gay. I still have several close gay friends, but in the past, I don't think they understood why I hung out with straight people, as if we should keep seperate from them. I personally never have thought of straight people versus gay people, but I also rarely think black person versus white person. About the only way I see myself immediately distinguishing people is by sex, only because it's often the most visible way to categorize a person.

Anyway, it's not something I experience anymore, but I would agree that many times communities seek out to be inclusive, and I think that it can (at times) hurt them, when in fact the purpose of such a community should be to try and incorporate oneself into society without having to feel or be any different than anyone else? Not sure if that is properly expressed, but that's how I see it, and it's only one of my many opinions!

[Joy]

And that's the thing about the "community" that has always irked me! I mean, we're all supposed to be fighting together as one community, but the instant you find out one of us is different, you change. I really don't mean to bring any bad vibes to the thread, honestly I don't. But I really do get upset by the "warm and fuzzy" feeling that's going on in the "Lebsian Gay BISEXUAL Transgender" thread, when so many of the Lesbians and Gays disicriminate against the Bisexuals.

I don't know where exactly the fear originated, but most Bisexuals that I know of are NOT as promiscuous as they are portrayed to be. Again, I don't label myself as Lesbian or Bisexual or Heterosexual. I just happened to fall in love with a woman, then later after that relationship ended, with a man. Those that I know of that do call themselved "Bi" usually are attracted more to one sex than the other, and would never leave their partner just because they don't have the "parts" that are attractive to them.

I'm sorry, I don't mean to be a downer, but I just wanted to get this point of view out there.

You're not downing...you're just expressing your feelings like everyone else here :)

but I know i dont have a 'fear' persay of bisexuals..nor do i look @ them as being promiscuous (sp?) my gf of 2 yrs was 'bi' when i met her and since we've been together her interest in guys has long faded..not to toot my own horn but uhhhh hahahahaha

seriously tho i think i take Bisexuality to mean someone who is still on the fence as to who they want and i associate that with other things...as far as decision making...i feel that they're indecisive (no offense to anyone here) i could b wrong in all kinda aspects...these are simply MY OPINIONS...

also some bi people feel that since they are bi that they 2 carry 2 relationships wit opposite sex @ the same time...that was 1 thing my ex was used to doin..having a relationship wit male and female at same time...i at least ask you b monogamous to one. so my current gf i had that discussion wit her up front..she obliged and we've had no major issues

[thesonofgray]

I only associate with beautiful people.





j/k :lol:


Anyways, has anyone here read or heard of Kinsey's work? The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction (http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/index.html) is really the leading source for sexuality study and has some really interesting reads.

I'm mentioning this because the founder, Dr. Kinsey, believed sexuality was less defined as we define it today, and more of a spectrum of sexuality (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale). This is interesting because he found that an incredible number of individuals were neither exclusively heterosexual or homosexual.

From the Kinsey Reports (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_Behavior_in_the_Human_Male#Sexual_orientati on):
The reports also state that nearly 46% of the male subjects had "reacted" sexually to persons of both sexes in the course of their adult lives, and 37% had at least one homosexual experience. 11.6% of white males (ages 20-35) were given a rating of 3 (about equal heterosexual and homosexual experience/response) throughout their adult lives. The study also reported that 10% of American males surveyed were "more or less exclusively homosexual for at least three years between the ages of 16 and 55" (in the 5 to 6 range).

7% of single females (ages 20-35) and 4% of previously married females (ages 20-35) were given a rating of 3 (about equal heterosexual and homosexual experience/response) on the 8-point Kinsey Heterosexual-Homosexual Rating Scale for this period of their lives. 2 to 6% of females, aged 20-35, were more or less exclusively homosexual in experience/response, and 1 to 3% of unmarried females aged 20-35 were exclusively homosexual in experience/response.

Where a scale of 0 to 6 was used to describe exclusivity in sexuality (0 being hetero, 6 being homo, 3 being equally both, and an X for asexual).

Some studies by others expounding on this theory even claim the human population creates a bell-shaped curve when plotting population on the Kinsey Sexuality Spectrum Scale, with the high point over 3 on the scale. This would imply that the large majority of the population is bisexual with little to no preference in gender, but that societal factors have pushed individuals to create a pseudo-preference that aligns with accepted standards. This also would explain the tendency for bisexuals to be more or less "overlooked" in the debate over sexuality. A small percentage of people are exclusively homosexual, and therefore resist (not by choice) a society's urge to be heterosexual, where bisexuals have a less intense desire for the same sex, and therefore have less issue with following accepted norms and defining themselves as heterosexual, even though they could go either way. So exclusively homosexual people (the gays) tend to dominate the sexuality debate.

These theories go beyond what the Kinsey reports say, and they have little proof to back them up. But they are interesting theories nonetheless.

If I were to study myself, I would have to say that I am very close to the exclusively homosexual side of the spectrum. I've never had any attraction to females, and think it would be rather gross to have intercourse with one (much like an exclusively heterosexual guy would think the same about guys).

Although I didn't in the past, I tend to believe the sexuality spectrum theory is true. While discussing this with friends, I've found that some of the females I hang out with have open curiosity about "being with the same sex", even though they identify and have been exclusively straight. I rarely find this with my straight guy friends, though, which I think hints to the incredible pressure from society on males to be and act the well defined "macho" character.

I dunno. It's all very interesting, but I imagine we will never know the "real" nature of human sexuality - not because I don't think we could ever find out - but because we'll probably unnaturally alter hormones through pollution and the myriad of harmful chemicals found in consumer products. (Which we are already doing, by the way.)

:wiggle:

[intlschizo]

I personally feel that if gays can't get married and can't serve in the military, they shouldn't have to pay taxes. Either you're a citizen (in my case, an American citizen) or you're not.

[thesonofgray]

I personally feel that if gays can't get married and can't serve in the military, they shouldn't have to pay taxes. Either you're a citizen (in my case, an American citizen) or you're not.

Hmmm...I think you're on to something there. :tu:

[jh101_7]

I personally feel that if gays can't get married and can't serve in the military, they shouldn't have to pay taxes. Either you're a citizen (in my case, an American citizen) or you're not.

I agree with you here.

you know, you bring up an interesting point; about gays who discriminate in reverse. i've actually remember this one guy i used to know saying he could never trust or data a "bi guy", and he even acted a bit differently to me when he found out i've been with women before. i couldn't see his reasoning; and never really cared either. i can only guess that his trust issue would have been that with me being with a woman i was lieing or hiding something; which of course isn't true. when i was with my ex i really did love her and i faked nothing. just because he's not attracted to women in any way doesn't mean i can't be.
i don't wanna put a negative spin onto this thread, but just though Pixiedrea had a good point that sometimes prejudice works in reverse; and that of course is still just as wrong. so strange that some people on the minority side of an issue can be just as close-minded as those they accuse ostracizing them.

I have some straight friends and they are good friends. But, at the same time I prefer to be around gay people. I do not prefer to go "breeder" bars or the places they go. If there is a "gay" bar/place or even a "gay-friendly" place then that is where I go first. I don't see it as being prejudice. I just feel that I cannot be myself in places like that without some "breeder" doing something stupid wether it be a comment or worse. And, I don't feel that most gay people are prejudiced againt "breeders". They give themselves that image when they do stupid **** like belittle someone or even hate crimes for being gay. I realize that one act doesn't account for all of them. There are some who dont care and they are often overlooked. And, you cannot always read people to see how they'll react if they were to know or find out that you are gay.

[donblay]

All interesting points, and I think it’s good to get some active discussion here; that is the point after all.
I think for me part of why I see things differently from some of the points Joy brings up is we have different definitions or views on what "bi" is. To me bi-sexual means that someone has the ability be attracted to either sex; it’s not confusion, indecisiveness, or ambiguity about what sex they want to be with. Just as being "homosexual" literally means people who are attracted to the same sex, it doesn't really imply anything else. It doesn't mean they march in parades, partake in gender bending or any other "social" or behaviors. Sexuality is simply a description of what sex someone is attracted to. I don't feel I’m on the fence at all about who I want to be with. I have in the past been with women and loved one very much. And now I am with a man I love very deeply. I could still be attracted to a woman again; just as I could also be attracted to another man; but in neither case does that sway me from who I want to be with. It sounds that your views on bisexuality is of the school of thought that bisexuality is more the lack of decision and commitment to any particular sexuality. And it’s a state of flux that someone is in until they do decide on gay or straight. For me its just the ability to be attracted to either. For some of us it’s not as clear-cut and black & white on what sex we’re attracted to; its more in shades of gray; but at the same times it’s also not indecisiveness. But i supposed it is one of those things that are very hard to imagine unless you experiance it yourself.
It’s unfortunate that you had ex that didn't want to be monogamous and used her bisexuality as a way to try to justify it. But I think that speaks more to her views on monogamy in general than it is a consequence of her bisexuality. Not that I'm implying she was permiscuous, I don't know her, but I know some people just aren't big on being exclusive. But thats has relatively little to do with here liking both sexes.
The concept of open relationships and "swinging" is not unique to bi's any more than it is to any other gay or straight couple. Some do it; some don’t. I personally don't, I’m committed to my man and expect the same from him. The fact that either of us could be attracted to a woman is just as irrelevant as the fact that we could be attracted to another man; or anyone at all for that matter. We're still in love with each other.
Most humans who have a pulse will at some point find someone else other than their spouse to be attractive. So for me the argument about not being able to provide everything for your bisexual partner doesn’t hold much as a reason to be insecure about dating someone who is bi. I think in any relationship your partner is not EVERYTHING you might want in a person. So the idea of “they might leave me because they might like the other sex too and I can’t give them that” isn’t anything deeper or more profound than the idea of “oh, my partner might leave me down the road because they like blonds and I’m a brunette”. If we want to keep the comparison's in the area of sex it's most likely that someone not leave you just because you're not into some fetish they are; and if they do its usulaly an indicator of something else in the relationship in addition to the sex. Any successful relationship should transcend these issues because they’re based on something more solid. And distrusting someone just because they could be attracted to another sex that you are not is no more a reason to distrust someone because they could be attracted to any quality (either physical or emotional) that you do not possess. I think that degree of insecurity in a relationship at its root has very little to do with your partner's sexuality. You can never be everything you’re partner might want; but that's ok, you don't have to be. You work with what you have, try your best, and hopefully build something together based off of love, compromise, and mutual trust.

[donblay]

I have some straight friends and they are good friends. But, at the same time I prefer to be around gay people. I do not prefer to go "breeder" bars or the places they go. If there is a "gay" bar/place or even a "gay-friendly" place then that is where I go first. I don't see it as being prejudice. I just feel that I cannot be myself in places like that without some "breeder" doing something stupid wether it be a comment or worse. And, I don't feel that most gay people are prejudiced againt "breeders". They give themselves that image when they do stupid **** like belittle someone or even hate crimes for being gay. I realize that one act doesn't account for all of them. There are some who dont care and they are often overlooked. And, you cannot always read people to see how they'll react if they were to know or find out that you are gay.
point taken. most of who i hang out with are gay as well. though i do still have some straight freinds too; just like you.
i understand what you're saying about straights giving off a hostile or unwelcomeing vibe to many gays. i think we've all experianced that at one point or another. but at the same time i think repeatedly and openly refering to them as "breeders" is no more respectful than them calling us "***s". I know that we all use the term jokingly amongst friends, and I'm not trying to being overly PC here; but using it unwarntedly like this doesn't help the cause much. Just saying because since this whole thread is a delicate topic as is, its not good to start name calling from either side. :fingers:

[thesonofgray]

i understand what you're saying about straights giving off a hostile or unwelcomeing vibe to many gays. i think we've all experianced that at one point or another. but at the same time i think repeatedly and openly refering to them as "breeders" is no more respectful than them calling us "***s". I know that we all use the term jokingly amongst friends, and I'm not trying to being overly PC here; but using it unwarntedly like this doesn't help the cause much. Just saying because since this whole thread is a delicate topic as is, its not good to start name calling from either side. :fingers:

If I am guessing which 3 letter term that was, I never use it, with friends or not. And I really don't understand why anyone would.

And I dunno what the term "breeder" means. I'm a "club scene" n00b. My partner and I don't enjoy those places so we never go. To me, it's all about sexual stimulation, picking people up, flirting, etc...and, well, I can do that with my bf whenever I want. :p I've never been a club person anyways.

[Joy]

If I am guessing which 3 letter term that was, I never use it, with friends or not. And I really don't understand why anyone would.

And I dunno what the term "breeder" means. I'm a "club scene" n00b. My partner and I don't enjoy those places so we never go. To me, it's all about sexual stimulation, picking people up, flirting, etc...and, well, I can do that with my bf whenever I want. :p I've never been a club person anyways.

im guessing 'breeder' means hetero peeps hahaha considering they're the only people who can 'breed' naturally

2 funny :laughing:

[Touch999]

Ok, heres my 2 cents. Brace yourselves. You can be gay, bi, tri, and even like animals as your marriage partner. I have no issues at all, as long as those views get kept away from children and keep it at your own home, its fine. But impose those view on regular ppl and demand to get married like regular ppl then I have a issue. Also, your gay.. you dont adopt no children . Period. Simple eh? :clap:

[rennyn]

I have no issues at all, as long as those views get kept away from children and keep it at your own home, its fine. But impose those view on regular ppl and demand to get married like regular ppl then I have a issue. Also, your gay.. you dont adopt no children . Period. Simple eh? :clap:

Thank God you're wrong :) I'll keep doing it in front of anyone I like. And I will adopt children. And you can't do anything about it. Period. Simple eh? :clap:

[Joy]

Thank God you're wrong :) I'll keep doing it in front of anyone I like. And I will adopt children. And you can't do anything about it. Period. Simple eh? :clap:


:clap:

likewise...actually my gf has a 2 yr old daughter and she see's and knows (cuz kids are smart) that we're somehow together...not saying that we blast our business in front of her or anything like that..but on occasion she will see a couple of pecks here and there

[thesonofgray]

Ok, heres my 2 cents. Brace yourselves. You can be gay, bi, tri, and even like animals as your marriage partner. I have no issues at all, as long as those views get kept away from children and keep it at your own home, its fine. But impose those view on regular ppl and demand to get married like regular ppl then I have a issue. Also, your gay.. you dont adopt no children . Period. Simple eh? :clap:

Thank god you're in the minority in this country...and the rest of the industrialized world. But you're free to believe whatever you want. :clap:

[Touch999]

Thank god you're in the minority in this country...and the rest of the industrialized world. But you're free to believe whatever you want. :clap:

God bless America. I guess the minority elected our current president. Weeeeeee!!!!:clap:

[Matt]

I have no intention on closing this thread because of you Touch999, but I will tell you now, don't turn this thread into something that even remotely resembles the rest of your political agenda threads.

[Quill]

God bless America. I guess the minority elected our current president. Weeeeeee!!!!:clap:

Yeah. And that had nothing to do with the fact we're in the middle of a war ... sure, Bush was re-elected so he'd get that amendment to the Constitution passed to prevent those pesky gay folks from getting married. Mmhmm.

Seriously. Stop turning every discussion into a political one. It's annoying and it's threadcrapping which can get you points.

I am starting to think you don't want your stay here to last very long.

[rennyn]

God bless America. I guess the minority elected our current president. Weeeeeee!!!!:clap:

You are correct! Bush lost the vote by over 544,000 votes. Unfortunately our country still uses an outdated and archaic electoral college system, so he still managed to 'win' the election.

And what a fine job he's done. ROFL! :clap:

And yeah, God bless America. Hopefully he'll show you mercy for the bigotry and hatred you spread.

[thesonofgray]

Moving on...

Does anyone have any thoughts on my previous post (http://www.sprintusers.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1628621&postcount=85)?

Also, if you're with someone right now, what are you getting your partner for xmas? I'm getting Daniel (my partner for 5 years now) a new celly. (of course) :D


Edit: Dang. Everybody, just shhhhhhhhh. If you be quiet and stay very still, it won't know you're here.

This thread asked for people's thoughts on the LGBT community, we were given that, we responded, and now we can move on. Please? :tu:

[Quill]

Can I answer that question, thesonofgray, even though I'm straight? :p

Shopping for loved ones is a pain no matter your orientation. It's not just me, right?

[thesonofgray]

Can I answer that question, thesonofgray, even though I'm straight? :p

Shopping for loved ones is a pain no matter your orientation. It's not just me, right?

Sure you can! You just might confuse some people who don't read back to this post. :lol:

[some18mybrain]

Can I answer that question, thesonofgray, even though I'm straight? :p

Shopping for loved ones is a pain no matter your orientation. It's not just me, right?

It's not just you. It's almost impossible to shop for loved ones for Christmas. And it just gets harder every year :indiff:

[Quill]

I have gotten my husband all sorts of odds and ends, books, a Star Wars LEGOS set, a digital kitchen scale but I really want to buy him an iPod nano. He needs a new one and he would use it in the car and stuff. But I'd have to put it on my credit card and I am so close to paying it off I am having a hard time justifying it.

What celly are you buying Daniel, thesonofgray?

[thesonofgray]

I have gotten my husband all sorts of odds and ends, books, a Star Wars LEGOS set, a digital kitchen scale but I really want to buy him an iPod nano. He needs a new one and he would use it in the car and stuff. But I'd have to put it on my credit card and I am so close to paying it off I am having a hard time justifying it.

What celly are you buying Daniel, thesonofgray?

I bought him a Muziq right here on SU from ill. He likes the whole glassy black look and doesn't do PPC's so the Muziq was the only Sprint phone that seemed to match. I've been playing around with it and I quite like it myself...more of a refined Fusic, which I had for a year before my Touch.

The interesting thing is, we agreed ahead of time to not buy gifts for each other this xmas. He and I are saving up for our SanFran trip this March, so we thought the commitment for going on the trip with each other would be enough of a gift. But...I couldn't help myself. :rolleyes: I know he got me something small, but he's going to be pissed that I bought him a new cell phone (but pissed in a good way). :lol:

Oh, and since some on here already know, my name is Grayson. :wavey: You can address me either way, though.

[Quill]

As long as he likes it...I bought my husband a new cell phone a month ago and he's so unhappy that I replaced his stupid RAZR. LOL. Even though his new phone is so much better.

The trip issue is one reason why I don't wanna put the Nano on my credit card. I should have the card paid off by the end of January and then we'll use it to pay for airfare for a trip to Vegas in April. It's such a tough choice. Sigh.

[Touch999]

I told you all to brace yourselves! I told you all my views on the glbt community, others dudnt like it. too bad. :)

[thesonofgray]

As long as he likes it...I bought my husband a new cell phone a month ago and he's so unhappy that I replaced his stupid RAZR. LOL. Even though his new phone is so much better.

The trip issue is one reason why I don't wanna put the Nano on my credit card. I should have the card paid off by the end of January and then we'll use it to pay for airfare for a trip to Vegas in April. It's such a tough choice. Sigh.

Hahaha...we all hate RAZR's. :lol:

Oh, and well, all of this works out cause Daniel also doesn't know that almost the whole trip is already paid for...compliments of my parents. It was supposed to be an xmas gift for me and him, but my mom is terrible at keeping secrets. My dad was less pleased with her talkative ways. :rolleyes:

Thanks for your input Touch999. Your attitude about this is perfect! I don't like your opinion about gays, too bad. You don't like who I and others love, too bad. We can both get over it together. ;)

[Touch999]

Thats what is great about the good ol USA. We can agree to disagree with blowing up our homes. God Bless America and Merry Christmas.

[Ronkh]

This thread is toooooo damn long.
My reasoning is as follows.

The more we "celebrate diversity" or tell people "tollerance" the more we say someone is different.

Therefore, I hate EVERYBODY !

[Joy]

Moving on...

Does anyone have any thoughts on my previous post (http://www.sprintusers.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1628621&postcount=85)?

Also, if you're with someone right now, what are you getting your partner for xmas? I'm getting Daniel (my partner for 5 years now) a new celly. (of course) :D


Edit: Dang. Everybody, just shhhhhhhhh. If you be quiet and stay very still, it won't know you're here.

This thread asked for people's thoughts on the LGBT community, we were given that, we responded, and now we can move on. Please? :tu:


5 yrs? congrats!! how's that going?? me and mine.....only abt a year and half...

anywho she getting the matching tiffany necklace to the bracelet i got here last month and this gucci purse that i told her "HELL NO!' abt when we saw it on rodeo drive (my outburst was warranted because the sticker price is $1,600) so...........of course shes not expecting that...i personally think thats enough to cover this xmas and her upcomin bday..she'll be 28....6 yrs my senior:tu:

[some18mybrain]

5 yrs? congrats!! how's that going?? me and mine.....only abt a year and half...

anywho she getting the matching tiffany necklace to the bracelet i got here last month and this gucci purse that i told her "HELL NO!' abt when we saw it on rodeo drive (my outburst was warranted because the sticker price is $1,600) so...........of course shes not expecting that...i personally think thats enough to cover this xmas and her upcomin bday..she'll be 28....6 yrs my senior:tu:

WOW!!! You sure go all out!! Wanna be my sugar mama?? I cook :)

[Joy]

this may not be any of my business or i may be even outta line to some...but im just curious....in our 'community' what role do you play?? or do you even consider yourself having a 'role' persay? or are you verse?? me?? altho very feminine and my gf is too....im the dom.......yep i make the rules ahhahahah (altho she still gets her way) lol

[Joy]

WOW!!! You sure go all out!! Wanna be my sugar mama?? I cook :)

LMAO!!

[thesonofgray]

This thread is toooooo damn long.
My reasoning is as follows.

The more we "celebrate diversity" or tell people "tollerance" the more we say someone is different.

Therefore, I hate EVERYBODY !

I can't tolerate your horrible spelling. :rolleyes:

[thesonofgray]

5 yrs? congrats!! how's that going?? me and mine.....only abt a year and half...

It's going very very very very very well. :D I have no doubt that I'll be one of the few that can say they stuck with their "high school sweetheart" for their entire life. :cupidarro (everyone can puke now)

this may not be any of my business or i may be even outta line to some...but im just curious....in our 'community' what role do you play?? or do you even consider yourself having a 'role' persay? or are you verse?? me?? altho very feminine and my gf is too....im the dom.......yep i make the rules ahhahahah (altho she still gets her way) lol

Blegh, I think roles have just been created and perpetuated by the porn industry. My boyfriend is Daniel and I'm Grayson. There are no 'roles' in our relationship. We're actually quite similar when it comes to interests and personalities. If your partner happens to be dominant or submissive or whatever then that's cool, but I don't think there needs to be some sort of pairing of roles in any relationship. IMHO, of course. :)

[Joy]

It's going very very very very very well. :D I have no doubt that I'll be one of the few that can say they stuck with their "high school sweetheart" for their entire life. :cupidarro (everyone can puke now)



Blegh, I think roles have just been created and perpetuated by the porn industry. My boyfriend is Daniel and I'm Grayson. There are no 'roles' in our relationship. We're actually quite similar when it comes to interests and personalities. If your partner happens to be dominant or submissive or whatever then that's cool, but I don't think there needs to be some sort of pairing of roles in any relationship. IMHO, of course. :)

ok so i dont kno how to use the multi quote thing so ill just say.... to address your 1st response, i think thats really cute (even tho i never use the word cute when describing a person, i think cute should b reserved for babies or monkeys hahahaha) anywho yea i think thats commendable to hold onto something that long in which the world (majority) feels its wrong...i hope to make it to 5 yrs or more...

and to address your 2nd point i dont think anyone really 'creates nor pairs' roles persay....i jus know any relationship (hetero or not) there has to be that one person who would be considered the dominant person for more reasons than one..anywho in the current relationship im in i take that role and in past lesbian relationships i've been either or...but personally speaking my 'dom' role tends to have a more lasting relationship...i think generally thats my personality anyway...in past relationships when 'she' was more aggressive than myself, i really didnt like it...then too i dont really like being submissive either so .......

ok ok im rambling...carry on people haha (i can go on an on about this whole thread in general)

[thesonofgray]

ok so i dont kno how to use the multi quote thing so ill just say.... to address your 1st response, i think thats really cute (even tho i never use the word cute when describing a person, i think cute should b reserved for babies or monkeys hahahaha) anywho yea i think thats commendable to hold onto something that long in which the world (majority) feels its wrong...i hope to make it to 5 yrs or more...

and to address your 2nd point i dont think anyone really 'creates nor pairs' roles persay....i jus know any relationship (hetero or not) there has to be that one person who would be considered the dominant person for more reasons than one..anywho in the current relationship im in i take that role and in past lesbian relationships i've been either or...but personally speaking my 'dom' role tends to have a more lasting relationship...i think generally thats my personality anyway...in past relationships when 'she' was more aggressive than myself, i really didnt like it...then too i dont really like being submissive either so .......

ok ok im rambling...carry on people haha (i can go on an on about this whole thread in general)

Oh well I agree with you in terms of personalities. ;) I tend come off with a more aggressive and outspoken personality (surprise, isn't it?) where Daniel tends to be more quiet. At least that's what outsiders see. When it comes to just us, we have very similar personalities, opinions, etc.

Thanks for the well wishes! I feel very lucky for what I have.

[donblay]

I was going to get my bf (Kiko, together since 2001) a HTC Touch. He as interested in getting one at 1st but then said he's have to see it cause he didnt' know if he'd like the touch interface. He's not a phone geek like me though. So now that the Touch idea feel though I really don't have anything "big" to get him. I usually get him something kinda big; like last year was an iPod, Valentine's was a Sanyo 8400, his bday was a laptop. This year i just got several smaller things. i got him a real nice coat from express, some shirts, a few DVD box sets from some series he likes. Pretty much anything he might have hinted about in the past month, lol.

[donblay]

oh yeah, on a side note; i kinda came out to one of my co-workers recently. well he came across my myspace page a while ago and added me as his buddy. my page clearly states that i'm gay and i'm sure he read that. but as i've stated before i don't go out of my way to hide it, so wasn't worried anyhow. but this past week he went xmas shopping with me and we talked a bit about me being gay. he even helped me look for a gift for my bf and asked about him. I'm glad he's fine with it; being that he's very religious i was a bit worried about him in particular. anyhow, i just thought i'd mention that cause ealier in this thread i raised the issue about coming out to coworkers

[rennyn]

I'm VERY very lucky when it comes to coworkers in my new job.

My team lead is gay, as well as the other tester I work with. Our boss is extremely open about it, loves it when someone's boyfriend comes in to pick them up and everything and is just very involved and engaged with everyone.

At our Christmas party each table sat about 10, 7 of the ones at our table were openly gay at work, and it was a blast. We were definitely the 'party' table, although the table behind us full of 50somethings getting drunk gave us a run for our money :D When the night's entertainment can get the whole place yelling "You b****, you sl**, you wh**e" along with a song, and my little asian lady cute boss yelling "Bulls**t" on queue... you know its a fun place.

Its a great environment. Not many places are quite like it.

[thesonofgray]

I was going to get my bf (Kiko, together since 2001) a HTC Touch. He as interested in getting one at 1st but then said he's have to see it cause he didnt' know if he'd like the touch interface. He's not a phone geek like me though. So now that the Touch idea feel though I really don't have anything "big" to get him. I usually get him something kinda big; like last year was an iPod, Valentine's was a Sanyo 8400, his bday was a laptop. This year i just got several smaller things. i got him a real nice coat from express, some shirts, a few DVD box sets from some series he likes. Pretty much anything he might have hinted about in the past month, lol.

Awww Kiko is such a cute name. What is his nationality? (if you don't mind me asking)

[thesonofgray]

I'm VERY very lucky when it comes to coworkers in my new job.

My team lead is gay, as well as the other tester I work with. Our boss is extremely open about it, loves it when someone's boyfriend comes in to pick them up and everything and is just very involved and engaged with everyone.

At our Christmas party each table sat about 10, 7 of the ones at our table were openly gay at work, and it was a blast. We were definitely the 'party' table, although the table behind us full of 50somethings getting drunk gave us a run for our money :D When the night's entertainment can get the whole place yelling "You b****, you sl**, you wh**e" along with a song, and my little asian lady cute boss yelling "Bulls**t" on queue... you know its a fun place.

Its a great environment. Not many places are quite like it.

Wow, are they hiring? :D

[donblay]

Awww Kiko is such a cute name. What is his nationality? (if you don't mind me asking)
Ethnically he's italian, but he was born & raised in Brazil (his mom moved there when she was pregnant with him). His real name is Cleber, but he's always gone by Kiko.
We're going on vacation to Brazil the day after Christmas. It will be my 1st time ever and his 1st time back since he moved here about 10 years ago :)

[Ronkh]

I can't tolerate your horrible spelling. :rolleyes:

intollerant person alert !!!

[Ronkh]

Ethnically he's italian, but he was born & raised in Brazil (his mom moved there when she was pregnant with him). His real name is Cleber, but he's always gone by Kiko.
We're going on vacation to Brazil the day after Christmas. It will be my 1st time ever and his 1st time back since he moved here about 10 years ago :)

Bring me back a cute Brazillian girl.... PLEASE.

[thesonofgray]

Ethnically he's italian, but he was born & raised in Brazil (his mom moved there when she was pregnant with him). His real name is Cleber, but he's always gone by Kiko.
We're going on vacation to Brazil the day after Christmas. It will be my 1st time ever and his 1st time back since he moved here about 10 years ago :)

Mmmm...that's the two best nationalities right there: Italian and Brazilian. :p

I'm half Italian myself. And my boyfriend is Latino. Perfect combination I'd say. :rolleyes:

ANYWAYS, enough about my preferences, I still can't get over how cute the name Kiko is. Have fun in Brazil! Soak up enough sun and heat for the rest of us here in the States. :wavey:

[mjohns2]

Ethnically he's italian, but he was born & raised in Brazil (his mom moved there when she was pregnant with him). His real name is Cleber, but he's always gone by Kiko.
We're going on vacation to Brazil the day after Christmas. It will be my 1st time ever and his 1st time back since he moved here about 10 years ago :)

Bring me back a cute Brazillian girl.... PLEASE.

Bring be back one too please.

[MissDesi]

L - Ok with me.
G - Ok with me.
B - I am.
T - Umm..don't agree with, but respect, of course.

Werd.

[thesonofgray]

L - Ok with me.
G - Ok with me.
B - I am.
T - Umm..don't agree with, but respect, of course.

Werd.

:werd: :)

[nomadtw]

I don't judge anyone for just about anything. i'm going to a alt lifestyle club for new years but i'm straight myself

[Touch999]

I don't agree with none of it. All wrong .Period. Remember, if it wasn't for us breeder you wouldn't be alive. You asked for ppl opinion. You got mines.

[Matt]

Yeah you made your point once already.

Thank you buh bye.

[Touch999]

Yeah you made your point once already.

Thank you buh bye.
Oh yes, your right. Sorry... I thought this was another thread.

[Joy]

this dude ^ is funny

[Joy]

so............. since we're on the topic of LGBT..........i thought i'd share my recent events

I havent actually been home (LA) since Nov 23. I been traveling for my job and setting up projects in other states along with me stopping by my home state (Oklahoma) to visit fam

Altho she and i talk, IM, text etc on the daily (we even had a long distance xmas) that doesnt seem to be enough for her. Although when i initally left cali she knew i'd be gone for about 7 weeks and she said that was fine and she was ok with that (anybody that knows me knows that tricia pretty much gets whatever she wants...if she not cool with something thn i dont do it. I turned down a position with Paramount because the job required 80% travel because she didnt want me away for so long). Considering the background info I just gave you i have no earthly idea why she didnt speak up to say she would have a prob with me being away so long (and yes i admit I've come to my home state about 4 times since sept...reason being my 19yr old sister was killed in a hit an run accident....high speed chase in tulsa that had nothing to do with her...suspect happend to hit her car which ran it into a pole where she sustained a temple blow and died by the next morning) so maybe thats why she didnt say anyting because she didnt want to seem selfish???

Anyway the other day we had a back and forth long distance argument which led to her callin me pigheaded (whatever that means) and that i wasnt concerned abt her feelings and that i neglect her etc...then she called me young and said im still learning (i hate when she does that...i just turned 22 on the 19th and she will be 28 in couple months)..then eventually she hung up in my face which led to her having an attitude last couple days and not speaking to me much...so........im confused...did i miss something here???

[Joy]

awwww man my wireless signal was fading and i didnt know the first post went thru...my bad people...can someone remove the one i made @ 10 59 am??

[thesonofgray]

Joy, long distance is tough. I have to do it as well on occasion. :(

The only advice I can give you, and I'm sure you've heard it before, is to communicate like crazy by any means possible. And discuss the fact that the relationship will only work if you both make an effort to communicate. Call whenever you can, email like crazy, and even send a surprise letter or gift through snailmail. It can help hold them over until they have what they really want. :hug:

I think your girlfriend is just frustrated with the situation, since it isn't exactly ideal to have what you want/like/love be hundreds of miles away.

Anyways, I'm sure you knew all of this. But from my experience, good communication is the only thing that can make distance work.

[CaseyGirl]

Sometimes, even with good communication, there is nothing that could ever substitute for someone's presence. Being in a long distance relationship SUCKS. I can understand why your GF is giving you an attitude. One, she misses you like crazy. You really will never understand what it's like to miss the person that you love until you don't see them on a regular basis. Yes, phone calls, IMs, text, email, picture mail and all that help, but there are just days where they just don't do. Second, she doesn't want to appear selfish because she knows that you need to do your job but it's just tough. So she's conflicted. Since you're the one that understands more, be patient and work with her. Let her know that you're there and that you understand that it's tough for her.

Good luck.

[xvietdelitex]

I live about 45 mins away from San Francisco and I've been to 2 gay pride parades in support of my friends. Honestly, the 10 of us who went, 8 of us are heterosexual! It's kind of funny, but at the same time, it's relieving to know that we, as different people from all walks of life, can come together to support those who we love. It makes zero difference to me as to what a person's preferences are, just as long as they're happy.

Ironically, I grew up in an Asian culture and racism and discrimination against those who are different is not common. I've always been uncomfortable judging others when they have no desire to judge me. I don't believe that there is an excuse to hate someone just because you don't have the same views. It's just scary to think how much ignorance there is out there even though we call ourselves "modern" and a "liberal" country. What's that saying again? "Agree to disagree." - You don't have to like it, but you will respect it.

I'm pretty sure this topic will be a debate for a long time, but I'm totally supportive of the LGBT community on their decisions for their own well-being. Can't be mad if others are happy! :)



P.s. Sorry to hear about the long-distance issue. I know it must be hard but hang in there! Keep your head up!

[thesonofgray]

Ah, gay pride parades.

Is it just me or does anyone else think that gay pride parades are the worst thing for the LGBT community and its advancement to equality status and respect?

I think the majority of them are quite embarrassing, since they seem to be more about uninhibited sexual exhibition than taking pride in the fact that you're comfortable and free to love you who love. And I say majority because I've seen/attended more low key gay pride parades. But I've also (unfortunately) seen/attended those which I was ashamed to even watch.

Blegh...maybe I'm just more conservative about those types of things. I just don't thing dancing around in speedos and glorifying porn stars is the way to tell America "hey, we're good people just like the rest of you."

[Matt]

I refuse to be involved with Pride. I find them to be rather detrimental. Of course the media doesn't help. When they cover Pride here in Portland they tend to focus on the guys in Speedos and drag queens as opposed to the more "normal" looking folks.

[rennyn]

True, but a bunch of normal folks walking down the street together wouldn't be quite as festive :)

[thesonofgray]

True, but a bunch of normal folks walking down the street together wouldn't be quite as festive :)

True. But the group of sadomasochists doing what they do best is probably too festive for most. :lol:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v496/azuremar/sm.gif :ohcrap:

[xvietdelitex]

Well the two I went to weren't the type of circuses that everyone makes them out to be. One of the "parades" involved different college campuses' from around the area and their LGBT clubs/associations that put together something. It wasn't that big but it did have a few motivational speakers. And the other... Well, let's just say it was right before a rave so you all know the drill.

I had a lot of fun and we certainly weren't out to gain approval from anyone. My friends and I agree, stereotypes hurt. We thought we knew about the gay community, but we really don't know anything. I learned to just accept people for who they are and hopefully, they'll accept me too.

[Joy]

thanks gray and caseygirl.....appreciate the advice ...but she couldn't take it anymore :(

unfortunately she told me when I 'find my way back home' then we can talk

[thesonofgray]

I had a lot of fun and we certainly weren't out to gain approval from anyone. My friends and I agree, stereotypes hurt. We thought we knew about the gay community, but we really don't know anything. I learned to just accept people for who they are and hopefully, they'll accept me too.

Well I'd like to accept you but I'm afraid I'll get poked by that odd looking pink spiky thing.

thanks gray and caseygirl.....appreciate the advice ...but she couldn't take it anymore :(

unfortunately she told me when I 'find my way back home' then we can talk

I'm really really sorry to hear that Joy. :( I hope when you get back home things will work out for the best.

[Joy]

I'm really really sorry to hear that Joy. :( I hope when you get back home things will work out for the best.[/QUOTE]

im sure they will...........but goodness!! I had to work and be with fam....ill see her the end of next week so hopefully her anger has subsided a bit...

EDIT: sorry gray i f'd up the quote marks ....sorry :(

im just gonna go to bed..rough couple days...goodnight ya'll

[thesonofgray]

I'm really really sorry to hear that Joy. :( I hope when you get back home things will work out for the best.

im sure they will...........but goodness!! I had to work and be with fam....ill see her the end of next week so hopefully her anger has subsided a bit...

EDIT: sorry gray i f'd up the quote marks ....sorry :(

im just gonna go to bed..rough couple days...goodnight ya'll

Don't worry, I realized it was my quote once you started talking about yourself in 3rd person. ;)

I bet her anger will turn into Joy (pun intended) once she sees you again. :tu:

[donblay]

I tend to agree that some of the gay pride events gets way carried away and only help propagate the negative stereo types. I've never been much into pride events too much anyhow. cause i'm not really "proud" of being gay; though by no means take that as meaning i'm ashamed either. but its just one attribute about me that just is what it is. its just like i'm not "proud" of being brunet, or proud of being being born in November or whatever. you know?
But i have gone to some pride events with friends and stuff; and I have to say the Boston Pride is actually pretty decent for the most part. its not too over the top (though of course you see your fare share of drag queens). and now with gay marriage being legal in Mass it's been much more a family event. the last one i went to had many married couples marching (respectfully too of course, no speedos or anything, lol) with signs stating how long they've been a couple, and some of them with their children too. and the mayor of the city is always in the parade and this past year even our new governor (Deval Patrick) marched in the parade to show his support.
But you're right, the majority of them are pretty counter-productive to the cause, sadly

Ah, gay pride parades.

Is it just me or does anyone else think that gay pride parades are the worst thing for the LGBT community and its advancement to equality status and respect?

I think the majority of them are quite embarrassing, since they seem to be more about uninhibited sexual exhibition than taking pride in the fact that you're comfortable and free to love you who love. And I say majority because I've seen/attended more low key gay pride parades. But I've also (unfortunately) seen/attended those which I was ashamed to even watch.

Blegh...maybe I'm just more conservative about those types of things. I just don't thing dancing around in speedos and glorifying porn stars is the way to tell America "hey, we're good people just like the rest of you."

[donblay]

thanks gray and caseygirl.....appreciate the advice ...but she couldn't take it anymore :(

unfortunately she told me when I 'find my way back home' then we can talk

awe, so sorry to hear that Joy.....

[Ronkh]

Ah, gay pride parades.

Is it just me or does anyone else think that gay pride parades are the worst thing for the LGBT community and its advancement to equality status and respect?



The more people "celebrate diversity" and have to be "tolerant", the more people are being told there is a difference.

So since I am straight, does that mean I have to be tollerant of something? To me being tollerant means I am already annoyed at something that I have to ignore. Diveree means there is a difference.

As far a "Gay pride" events - most of them seem "In your face" so to speak so it's almost trying to be confrontational.

So for me the fact that someone is Gay (is that supposed to be capitolized?) is about as important as Britany's meltdown.

[Ronkh]

The more people "celebrate diversity" and have to be "tolerant", the more people are being told there is a difference.

So since I am straight, does that mean I have to be tollerant of something? To me being tollerant means I am already annoyed at something that I have to ignore. Diveree means there is a difference.

As far a "Gay pride" events - most of them seem "In your face" so to speak so it's almost trying to be confrontational.

So for me the fact that someone is Gay (is that supposed to be capitolized?) is about as important as Britany's meltdown.

But I still wanna see Rosie pay alimony !!! :clap:

[Ronkh]

^ that was supposed to be an edit, not quote.

Oh well, guess I better sign up for the 2nd mod lesson

[thesonofgray]

I tend to agree that some of the gay pride events gets way carried away and only help propagate the negative stereo types. I've never been much into pride events too much anyhow. cause i'm not really "proud" of being gay; though by no means take that as meaning i'm ashamed either. but its just one attribute about me that just is what it is. its just like i'm not "proud" of being brunet, or proud of being being born in November or whatever. you know?
But i have gone to some pride events with friends and stuff; and I have to say the Boston Pride is actually pretty decent for the most part. its not too over the top (though of course you see your fare share of drag queens). and now with gay marriage being legal in Mass it's been much more a family event. the last one i went to had many married couples marching (respectfully too of course, no speedos or anything, lol) with signs stating how long they've been a couple, and some of them with their children too. and the mayor of the city is always in the parade and this past year even our new governor (Deval Patrick) marched in the parade to show his support.
But you're right, the majority of them are pretty counter-productive to the cause, sadly

See now that's what I'm talking about. I think the more we find gay being equal in the eyes of the law, the more people will see - parades or not - that we're just like everybody else. I think being outcasted by society (in a general sense) does more to push people to extremes (i.e. bouncing around in a glittery speedo).

The more people "celebrate diversity" and have to be "tolerant", the more people are being told there is a difference.

So since I am straight, does that mean I have to be tollerant of something? To me being tollerant means I am already annoyed at something that I have to ignore. Diveree means there is a difference.

As far a "Gay pride" events - most of them seem "In your face" so to speak so it's almost trying to be confrontational.

I completely agree. But I will say this: not many things have happened in history to advance equality without being confrontational. But I don't think pride parades are an effective means to the ultimate goal.

So for me the fact that someone is Gay (is that supposed to be capitolized?) is about as important as Britany's meltdown.

Not unless there's a United Gay States of America with Gay as the name for its building housing the Congress.

No, gay doesn't need to be capitalized. :hee:

There I go with my grammar/vocab/spelling prejudice again. :rolleyes:

[thesonofgray]

^ that was supposed to be an edit, not quote.

Oh well, guess I better sign up for the 2nd mod lesson

Um...can't you just delete posts? I think you go back and review the first lesson. :lol:

[Ronkh]

Um...can't you just delete posts? I think you go back and review the first lesson. :lol:

Giving warning points was the first lesson :hee: and everybody knows I nevre got past that point.

If I deleted my post I would have had to re-edit my old one. Thus creating 3 times the work. I'm just to damn lazy to do that.

[thesonofgray]

I thought some of my fellow SUers might get a kick outta this.

Wanda Sykes on Gay Marriage...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IHdaJOZe7E

:lmao:

[donblay]

Well since we're sharing, here's some gay-themed phone content.
http://www.dbringers.info/imagebrowser.php?gallery=Gay_Pride
(i know, i know, seems like a shameless plug, lol)

[PrincessPixie]

Pink!!!!
















Okay that was pointless. But it WAS getting very somber in here.

[donblay]

LOL, i for one appreciate you lightening it up here :D
Pink!!!!
















Okay that was pointless. But it WAS getting very somber in here.

[ww3kc]

I think being outcasted by society (in a general sense) does more to push people to extremes (i.e. bouncing around in a glittery speedo).

Where can you buy a nice glittery speedo these days????

[thesonofgray]

Where can you buy a nice glittery speedo these days????

Not sure. I have a couple of spares, though, if you need one.



























j/k :lol:

But, seriously, I dunno. Maybe Spencer's gifts? Or any sex shop?

[mkoso]

With all the problems there are in the world these days, I think someone being gay is the least of anyones worries. What I mean is that people should just let people live and deal with other problems. Being gay is not a problem!
I find most of the time the people that are anti-gay are; 1. very ignorant or, 2. probably afraid of their own sexuality.
People are people and I take them for what their worth be it straight, gay, black white, Muslim...etc. To each their own. It would be pretty boring if we were all the same.

[thesonofgray]

With all the problems there are in the world these days, I think someone being gay is the least of anyones worries. What I mean is that people should just let people live and deal with other problems. Being gay is not a problem!
I find most of the time the people that are anti-gay are; 1. very ignorant or, 2. probably afraid of their own sexuality, or 3. actually believe what their Bible/Pastor/Church says.
People are people and I take them for what their worth be it straight, gay, black white, Muslim...etc. To each their own. It would be pretty boring if we were all the same.

I find 1 and 3 to go hand-in-hand most of the time. :wavey:

[thesonofgray]

Novak Djokovic is so cute!!!

He just beat #1 Federer and is headed to the Australian Open final. It's so fun to watch him get so excited. I just want to squeeze his little Serbian cheeks!!

Anyone else think Djokovic is cute? Or any comments on tennis? Tennis has always (to me) seemed like one of the more gay-friendly sports. I used to play and I know a lot of players on the 'team'. :p

[donblay]

Never heard of him until now. but after what you said i clearly had to go Google him. and you are SO right, that boy is cute! LOL

*i sense some new additions comming to DBRinger's Male Celebs section..... *

Novak Djokovic is so cute!!!

He just beat #1 Federer and is headed to the Australian Open final. It's so fun to watch him get so excited. I just want to squeeze his little Serbian cheeks!!

Anyone else think Djokovic is cute? Or any comments on tennis? Tennis has always (to me) seemed like one of the more gay-friendly sports. I used to play and I know a lot of players on the 'team'. :p

[thesonofgray]

He just won the Australian Open!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aww I'm so happy for him. :D No shirtless bravado scene like usual :rolleyes: but it was a really good match.

I suppose I should go to bed now. Stupid time zones.

[Joy]

With all the problems there are in the world these days, I think someone being gay is the least of anyones worries. What I mean is that people should just let people live and deal with other problems. Being gay is not a problem!
I find most of the time the people that are anti-gay are; 1. very ignorant or, 2. probably afraid of their own sexuality.
People are people and I take them for what their worth be it straight, gay, black white, Muslim...etc. To each their own. It would be pretty boring if we were all the same.

omg mkoso where have u been???

and yes i totally agree with this statement and even more so with sonofgray who agrees that 1 & 3 go hand in hand...

[mkoso]

omg mkoso where have u been???


...been around! :)

[tarmacevo]

as far as i know i have no close friends who are gay or lesbian however if i found out one was it wouldn't bother me. I prefer to base people on personality not sexual orientation. I've hung out with a few gay people and its no different than hanging out with any one else....

[pdx77]

as far as i know i have no close friends who are gay or lesbian however if i found out one was it wouldn't bother me. I prefer to base people on personality not sexual orientation. I've hung out with a few gay people and its no different than hanging out with any one else....

Amen.. I'm gay, and most of my friends I hang out with are straight. *To them they don't view me as being "Gay".. I'm just another person to them.. *In fact most of them probably wouldn't even know I was gay unless I told them.

[mkoso]

Ya know, most of the times with gay men, I really can't tell. I still look back at old pics of Freddie Mercury from Queen and scratch myself, how could I not tell? :) Anyhow with women who are gay, at least the ones we hang around with, it's pretty obvious. Something must be afoul with my gaydar.

[HChristianS]

I'm bisexual, but im leaning towards guys more now.
I do want to get married and have kids of my OWN blood.
I'm 18 years old, I haven't come out to ANYONE, except two people I used to be close to but they moved away to college after high school.
I tried telling my crush of 3 years, but he didn't believe me and thought I was joking so I just stopped there.
I live with the most conservative and religious family EVER. I'd probably be kicked out of my house if they found out.
All my friends come from church and if I came out, they'd all hate me for sure, trust me, I KNOW and I'd be expelled. It's a very strict church, well somewhat strict, let's just say they don't like homosexuals.
I find myself completely depressed at times cause I feel EXTREMELY lonely.
I live in Jacksonville, Florida and I haven't found any GAY/BI guys, that AREN'T FLAMBOYANT, thats not my type of thing... so yeah.
I occasionaly find myself on gay teen help forums/personals, and just my luck, of course there's no guys in Jacksonville.
So yeah, I live a pretty sad life.

and it's worse when you feel like people hate you ALL THE TIME.

[thesonofgray]

I'm bisexual, but im leaning towards guys more now.
I do want to get married and have kids of my OWN blood.
I'm 18 years old, I haven't come out to ANYONE, except two people I used to be close to but they moved away to college after high school.
I tried telling my crush of 3 years, but he didn't believe me and thought I was joking so I just stopped there.
I live with the most conservative and religious family EVER. I'd probably be kicked out of my house if they found out.
All my friends come from church and if I came out, they'd all hate me for sure, trust me, I KNOW and I'd be expelled. It's a very strict church, well somewhat strict, let's just say they don't like homosexuals.
I find myself completely depressed at times cause I feel EXTREMELY lonely.
I live in Jacksonville, Florida and I haven't found any GAY/BI guys, that AREN'T FLAMBOYANT, thats not my type of thing... so yeah.
I occasionaly find myself on gay teen help forums/personals, and just my luck, of course there's no guys in Jacksonville.
So yeah, I live a pretty sad life.

and it's worse when you feel like people hate you ALL THE TIME.

My advice to you is get out. You're reaching that point where you become less dependent on your family and more independent. If you don't feel comfortable in your current situation, then place yourself in a new one. Go to a fairly liberal college away from home. Meet new people. Make new friends. If you find your life depressing, then change it. Focus your energy/attention/time on bettering you and your situation, not your church or your family. When you feel comfortable and are in a position where you can support yourself by yourself, then come out to your family. If they can't accept you, then that's their problem and their loss. If they do accept you, then you can finally be open to them and strengthen your relationship.

I can't emphasize enough how you just need to get out of the situation/environment you're in and start anew. Focusing on employment/higher education opportunities outside the state of Florida is a good place to start. See where that takes you, and then slowly establish a new support structure with friends (and possibly boyfriends ;)) that accept you for whoever and whatever you are. Those people are out there. I promise. You're just probably not going to find them in your Church or your conservative relatives or even in online chatrooms/personals/forums.

I wish the best of luck to you. :wavey:

[donblay]

i defiantly agree with thesonofgray. you're best option is to get away from there and expand your horizons. going away to college would be a great 1st step (as long as its not a catholic college). This way you can meet other like-minded people who can accept you for who you are. you can find so much happiness just by finding peace within yourself and being allowed to be who you are. If college isn't an option then just moving away in general would be good. And as Gray said, then when you're in a better place, you can come out to those who you're afraid wont' accept you; its not like you have to turn your back on them for ever. But if after all that they cannot accept you; thats not your fault, and not your problem.

[pdx77]

I grew up in a similar enviorment, the best thing i ever did was move out. There's no reason to put yourself in that type of torture. It's hard I know, I've been there... PM if u want my ## if you ever need to talk or whatever.

[HChristianS]

i dont think leaving is an option.
Maybe in 4 years, after college and such.
I just want to meet SOMEONE you know?
atleast to be friends with, & I'm not ready to be out.
and I've always believed a person comes out when they're ready... & I'm not.

[FloorMatt]

I'm changing my mind...

I think the LGBT community is pretty gay!

[pdx77]

I'm changing my mind...

I think the LGBT community is pretty gay!
*
FloorPDAis gay ;) :hee:
*

[FloorMatt]

*
FloorPDAis gay ;) :hee:
*

Just because we sleep next to each other, that doesn't make us gay! :mad:

[thesonofgray]

i dont think leaving is an option.
Maybe in 4 years, after college and such.
I just want to meet SOMEONE you know?
atleast to be friends with, & I'm not ready to be out.
and I've always believed a person comes out when they're ready... & I'm not.

That's understandable. But realize that not coming out will make meeting people very difficult. But only come out when you feel comfortable doing so and when you're less dependent on those who might disagree with your sexuality. Just bide your time (most teens have to) and remind yourself that things will get a lot better once your 'free'. ;)




I'm changing my mind...

I think the LGBT community is pretty gay!

*
FloorPDAis gay ;) :hee:
*

Just because we sleep next to each other, that doesn't make us gay! :mad:

Um...ya'll need to get yourselves a room. Oh, wait, it seems that ya'll already have one. Well then get a relationship counselor or something.

[Matt]

I have been telling them that all along, but they seem to be fine as soon as Conan comes on.

[thesonofgray]

I have been telling them that all along, but they seem to be fine as soon as Conan comes on.

:laughing:

[thesonofgray]

This was just about the funniest thing I've seen in a LONG time.

Part 1: http://www.comedycentral.com/motherload/index.jhtml?ml_video=156067

Part 2: http://www.comedycentral.com/motherload/index.jhtml?ml_video=156268

The Fightin' Gays! :laughing:

[josh33_unc]

> THE GAY FLIGHT ATTENDANT
>
>
>
> My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed
> to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.
> As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told
> us that "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the
> big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays
> up, that would be super."
> On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather
> Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle.
> "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to
> raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground." She
> calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and
> I take orders from no one."
> To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat,
> "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you.
> Tray-up, b****."

[thesonofgray]

Nice one, Josh. :hee:

[tooterbugg]

:Popcorn2: Sitting Back & Enjoying the Gay Posts! :Popcorn2:

...funny how my Gaydar lead me in this direction.